Poisonous love// tom Kaulitz

Never again

I had kept my distance to tom for almost 2 weeks now, I had not seen him since at Mias and honestly it felt nice.
Nate came up to me with coffee " here" he Handed it to my hands. " thanks" I smile as I can't stop letting tom slip into my mind.

Fuck I missed him sometimes, his kisses and just his presence, fuck what was I doing?! I loved  Nate right?....

I looked at Nate who looked like if he where thinking " what are you thinking of handsome" I smile making him look at me and give me a soft smile " nothing" he said with an off voice.
" tell me nate" I sigh " fine, have you talked anything to tom?" He asked as he looked me right in my eyes making me get shocked " uh yea a bit we talked some at the party nothing more but I don't want you too worry about him okay?"
He nodded and took a sip of his coffee.
" okay I'm gonna take a shower" I say and get up and give him a kiss before leaving the couch.

I took a long shower. Getting dressed. " hey Nate?" I shout from the bathroom but he I didn't respond so I go out as I dried my hair with an towel to find him looking down my phone.
" Nate?" I say and stop and just look at him, he looked up  at me, no emotions in his eyes and it terrified me as it reminded me of my fathers eyes.
" what's wrong?" I asked and laid down the towel on the couch.

He let out a ignorant laugh " what's wrong? What's wrong is that you have been fucking Tom" he say calm but with an terrifying voice making my heart start beating so fast and hard making me feel like I would throw up. " no I-"
" don't play fucking stupid with me" he yelled making me jump
" he called your phone, I answered and I understood right when he called you that you have been with him" he looked at me angry
" Nate i-" I didn't know what to say, I where terrified of the way he looked at me.

" you are a fucking whore Lilly" he say loud as he go up to me, " nate I love you-" I get interrupted by his hand taking my wrists and throwing me down onto the floor with all his strength making me hit it hard.

After that it where just his yelling, his names for me, his hands, his so hard fists against me. Him throwing me out of his apartment with my things with all my body being in pain. The sound of his concerned voice as he picked up.

The feeling of a warm car carrying me through traffic, his warm and soft hands against my hurting skin. " what did he do to you" his voice said with so much concern.

I thought my fathers abuse had left my life but it never did, I just relived it through another man's violence.

" how far gone is she" a nurse whispering to Tom making him look at her and then at me with big eyes, I was just waking up when I heard it. I didn't get a chance to progress it before the nurse saw me being awake.
" your awake" she said and came up to me as Tom stood against a wall. " do you remember what happened Lilly?" She asked as she looked down onto her block of paper. " yeah" I say and look at her who looked up at me now.
" you have not so bad injuries, you have gotten some stitches"  she said and let her eyes look at Tom quickly like if she thought it was him who had done all of this.

" Lilly did you know you where pregnant?"
I shake my head as I glance at Tom who looked down onto his hands who where connected " 3 weeks you are" she looked concerned at me as I where in complete shock.

The nurse wanted to call the police and I agreed.
And she soon left me and Tom alone.
I looked at him from the hospital bed I had been in so many times. " what happened lil?" He soon said and looked at me now. I shake my head " Nate he, he answered when you called and he understood it all Tom, he must have seen on the night at Mias when we talked also" I say as I feel my eyes sting and get red. " I can't keep doing this, I thought I was done when my father died but no" I let out making him stand up and go up to me.
" Lilly you are don with all of That, I will make sure you are" he smiled and kissed my head carefully.

The nurse soon came back with two cops behind her " they want to ask some questions" she smiled and left with Tom.

I told them everything, from my father to Nate, they would go and see what they could do about what he had done to me

" are you ready to leave?" Tom asked and I sighed " I don't want to go back home Tom" I look at him and he nodded " of course not, come" he helped me up form the bed.

He drove us to his apartment, one of the places I have always felt like safest. " do you want anything to eat or drink?" He asked but I just shaked my head.

I got down under the cover next to him, we couldn't deny what we always had and felt for each other even after a whole year of being apart.
" do you think it's mine?" He soon said low making me open my eyes " yes, Nate and I always end used protection" I sigh and turn to him.
He nodded. " I'm sorry Tom, I know this probably is the last thing that you want and-" he shakes his head " the last thing I want is to loose you Lilly" he said soft.

He had changed so much and so little under this year we where apart, he was still how he had always been but he where so much kinder and caring, speaking about his feelings and only wanting me

" since I saw you at the gala i couldn't stop thinking about you, even since I saw you at the club for almost 2 years ago i couldn't stop thinking about you, I know I have done some messed up things to you but I will change for you and this child" he said making my eyes get filled with tears. " I don't think we are ready for this Tom, we are only 22" I say making him smile " we are never gonna get ready for anything, but this is how it is now and i will never leave you again" he kissed me

Maybe it was faith that brought us back together, maybe it was the reason I lived, me and Tom where connected after these 2 years we have been through, my life had been hell of and on and now him here, pregnant with the man I love.