Poisonous love// tom Kaulitz

Tell me to stop

I had finally gotten written out of the hospital.
Mia and bill had picked me up.
As I sat in the backseat of bills car I looked out of the window, it was dark outside and the rain was pouring down. " where's Tom?" I asked making bill look at me from the little mirror. " uhm he's home"he lied
I nodded. I hadn't seen him in a while now. " so Lilly I'm gonna go to bills is that okay?" Mia turned around to me from the passenger seat.
I smiled " of course it's okay, and I need to be alone for a day or two as people have been around me the whole week" I smile making her smile.
We stopped outside the very familiar building. I sighed as I thought about having to go out in the rain. But I opened the car. Leaned in and said goodbye before they drove off. I got in and I was already soaking wet from the few minutes out in the rain. I put my keys down on the counter as I took a look around, looked like it was when I left.
I looked out of the window seeing newyorks light shine through the windows as they where stained with rain. My door soon opened and my heart stopped for a second. A second or two I feared it was my father until I turned around and saw the very familiar figure standing in front of me with wet hair and clothes. I backed so my body touched the counter as I just watched him carefully. " what are you doing here?" I asked low as his brown eyes pierced mine. He sighed and stepped closer making me swallow my nervousness as I gripped the counter with my hands. He was so close now, so close his warm breath hit my cold skin. " I can't stop thinking about you" he said low as his eyes moved to my lips. " you said you didn't want anything more Tom" " I know but it's just something about you that drives me crazy" he said so close to my lips and soon they touched. It was a kiss we booth had craved for so long. His hands lifted me up on the counter so I was his height. His hands gripping me hard. " we shouldn't do this" I let out in between our kiss " then tell me to stop Lilly" he said to my lips " I can't" I say as he lifted me up and to my bed, tossing me down in it. Ripping of one and others clothes like we where hungry for each other. His hands being all over my body, kissing every inch of it. Holding back my arms. Our groans filling the dark bedroom as the only light sours was the light from outside. His dark eyes getting even more darker in this light every time he looked me in the eyes. Our body's being pressed so close together as the could.
Until those last moans ended everything and he laid his weight on me. Booth of us out of breath.
He got of me, looking  at me like he had made an mistake for a second. " I-I have to leave" he said as my face immediately got disappointed " im sorry Lilly" he took a carefully grip of my cheek and kissed my forehead before getting up and leaving me alone in my dark room, worries filling me slowly until I managed to fall asleep.

Tom
It felt so good to finally have her, but I couldn't help to feel anger after. I knew I was bad for her. I saw her face change when I said I had to leave. I don't understand why it's so hard to stay away from her...if I just could tell her I loved her.
I pressed a kiss to her forehead before leaving her apartment. Meeting up bill at this club we was going to be at with the band. I saw this girl. She was hot. I took her to my bedroom after the gig. I couldn't stop thinking of Lilly tho, I didn't want an relationship. I knew sleeping with her was a mistake so I tried to forget about her when I slept with this girl but it didn't work. " Tom what's wrong?" She asked as she noticed something was wrong " I can't do this I'm sorry" I sigh making her sit up " what's wrong?" She brushed my back carefully making me smile. " I don't know I'm sorry" " it's okay" she laid her head on my shoulder. " maybe we could finish this of another day" she says in a flirty way making me look at her and smirk. " yeah we maybe could" I said and gave her my number and she gave hers to me.

I was alone now. I started to think of Lilly, how hurt she will feel if she finds.  bill came in. " what are you thinking about?" He asked "none of your business" I snap and take a sip of my drink
Bill sigh " I'm leaving again" he said and then I was alone again. I threw my glass in the wall. I was frustrated. I slept with her and it was an mistake because I'm bad I would ruin her. " what's wrong with me" I mumble as I looked at the broken glass in the floor. I sigh. I knew I had to stop to get this angry rages.