Poisonous love// tom Kaulitz

Forever

I stayed up late and talked to bill that night.
I really needed it. " I don't understand why I love him" I say and look at him as a tear run down my cheek slowly making bill dry it away with his thumb and that was when I saw it. He looked at my lips for a second and then at my eyes.

" maybe you should let him go?" He say as we are close to each other. I had always thought bill looked good, of course I did he where identical to Tom but he had a another soul, he where kind and soft and honest. I smile and shake my head " it's hard" I say as I feel bills hands move a strap of hair behind my ears making me look at him quickly.

I bit my lips hard as I wanted to kiss him so badly at this moment, maybe It was because it was a great revenge for Tom or maybe just because bill where so kind and caring to me.

We got so close, I could feel that we booth wanted to kiss each other. So he pulled me to his lips by my cheek with his hand. It was a careful kiss. We pull away and just look at each other.
" I shouldn't have done that" he said low as we just looked at one and other " no you shouldn't but I want you to do it again" I say as low before we kiss again. I get up on his lap, feeling how hard he was at the moment.

I take my hands down to his belt, trying to get it up when he takes my hand " Lilly" he say to my lips " please bill, I need this" I say desperately to him and he let me go.

I just sit there and looking at him, I can't believe I just fucked him, I felt ashamed as I had just gotten out of a relationship with his brother.
"Hey are you okay?" Bill say as he looked at me and I just nooded.

Two week later
I had finally stoped crying every night, I tried so hard to let go of Tom as I felt feelings start to form for bill.

It was hard but i couldn't do much about it as I missed him every second of the day...
I heard him talk to him often, bill said Tom wanted to speak to me but I said no every time as I wasn't ready for it yet. I wasn't staying in my apartment because I knew Tom would come there then.

One day when I came home late to bills I saw toms car outside the apartment. On the way up I where nervous. As I where about to open the door to bills house I hear yelling from in there. So I just press my ear to the door. " She will hate you as much bill so don't even try" Tom say loud making me look confused at the door. " at least she have chosen me now Tom" bill yelled back
" what does that mean?" Tom said making me squeeze my eyes hard as I knew what bill was going to say " we fucked, we fucked right here, she where begging for it" bill said.
Tom laughed " good luck keeping her when she finds out you knew about everything all the time and Lied right up her fucking face" Tom say and the door burst open making Tom stop and look at me before he left.

I just looked at bill who saw me standing outside the door. " you knew?" I say and I felt so betrayed, he knew, he knew what tom had done and he lied about it to my face...
Maybe he wasn't so much better then his twin brother? Maybe he where just as bad as tom?

I shake my head as bill tried to explain " I slept with you bill?! You fucking knew when you told me that you didn't, wanting me to leave tom.." I yell " lil please-" " don't fucking even try" I say and burst out of the apartment.

I felt so lonely, the two people I felt secure with had betrayed me.

I walk around in the city for several hours. Calls from bill filling my phone, texts as well.
Calls from tom too.

It where almost 4am when I got home, as I locked up my door, I jumped as I saw Tom sitting in my couch, leaning on his arms on his knees. He looked up at me " where have you been?" He say making me roll my eyes " why do you care Tom?"
" because I love you Lilly" he get up and walks against me. " you don't love someone if you do what you do to me" I say as he where so close to me, making it harder to see him as the apartment where dark, making his dark brown eyes even darker.

" Tom just leave I'm home now so leave" I say as it pained me to see him again " no, I won't" he say and comes so close making me take a breath in and holding it.
" you miss me lil, you miss my touch" he let's his fingers run down my body to my panties. I bit my lip. " please Tom" I say and look at him.
" did you like it?" He looked at me, so deep into my eyes as I tried to maintain a moan from leaving my mouth. " like what?"
" to fuck my brother Lilly" he say into my ear angry making me look at him. " it was an mistake Tom, I where sad and wanted to do something that would hurt you" I say as he ads more
pressure with his fingers making me moan

" say that you want me, say that you don't want me to stop Lilly" he say as I bit my lip " don't stop Tom, I want you so bad even after what you have done" I kiss him hard, I had missed how perfect our lips where for each other.

He pull away and just look at me. He looked sad" goodbye Lilly" he say and just leave my apartment leaving me shocked. " what?" I say after him " this proves how toxic I am for you Lilly, you deserve someone else" he stoped and  looked at me
" No I don't want anyone else then you Tom" he looked at me as I said it with big eyes. " please I, I'm not myself without you" I say with desperate filled in my voice. " because I am bad for you, you love how I am to you that's why Lilly"
I shake my head and goes to him " please don't leave me again Tom, I don't care about anyone you have fucked or what you have done just stay with me" 

He shakes his head " I can't I will destroy you" he say " I will destroy myself for you Tom please don't go" I say as I see him take a step, feeling so much stress in my body as i couldn't let him go.
" Tom please" I take his hand but he pulled it back " I love you Lilly, please be happy for me, find true love who treats you right"
" but you are my true love Tom" I yell after him as he left me alone. Alone again.

I fall down onto the floor as I cry. " please" I say low as I cry. Hearing his footsteps disappear.

I have lost everything now, Tom is gone, he will never come back to me now, I know it. Bill I can't forgive. Mia is in Paris.

I sat there for hours, knowing I have lost my true love forever.