Mine (HOOD) [COMPLETED]

46; Opening up

Calum's POV

Why does she thinks that I deserve better? Can't she see that she's the only one that matters in the whole fucking universe?! I messed up, why did I even say stuff like she enjoys breaking my heart when the person who's doing that is myself? I truly hate when I'm angry, I will say this stupid stuffs that I do not even mean. Just like what happened 6 years ago, the night I found out that she's going to Princeton, I was so mad inside and so confused, and not to mention pretty fucking stupid, I told her that she deserves better. That anger lead me to leaving her just cause she wanted to go and further her studies somewhere far away, what does that make me look like? A fucking ogre! A cowardly fucking ogre! 

I'm upset that I said those hurtful stuffs to Shay but I still can't get my head wrapped around why does she have to think about it? I mean, I understand that the deal is actually a great deal, she gets to further her studies and work at the same time, and provide a better life for herself and Tommy. That's an admirable move, and I value her independence but can she see that I want to provide a better life for her and Tommy, especially everything that she went through? I can even pay for her studies for God's sakes, I just want to take care of her cause she has been taking care of everyone but herself. I just honestly, sincerely want her to be happy..with me nearby. Call me selfish  but I want to come home to a family, have dinner together, jam with my son and do basically nothing with my one and only. She could read and I could write songs on the bed, and still be together, just like the old times. 

I know who Shay Michelle Dallas is, I know her too well. She has ambitions, she wants to be recognized for her hard work and she never gives up. That's the strong lady that I fell in love with, and I should know better for being an obstacle in the middle of her road to success. After the call with Tommy and a brief conversation with Shay, I sit down on the sofa in my bachelor pent house. 

Micheal walks by while I sigh deeply, "why aren't you at Shay's? And why do you look like a phantom just sucked your soul?"

I look at him wearily, too depressed to even make a facial expression, "when can be infinitely happy, Mikey? Why does life have to just push us to the limit? Why not just let us be so that we can have our happily ever after".

Mikey laughed at my words while pouring some cereal into a bowl, "happily ever after? What are we? 9-year-old girls?"

"Fuck, you don't even know these stuffs. Why am I talking to you anyway?", I throw my hands in the air as a sign of surrender. I stand up and walking towards my room, and all of the sudden Micheal stopped me from moving with his full cereal bowl on my chest. 

"Talk to me, bro. It seems like you need it",he said and I widened my eyes, "you think?!"

"Sit down here in my office, let's have a little chat", he sits on the kitchen stool, and pointing to the stool beside him, motioning me to sit down. 

"The kitchen is your office? Nah, it's fine, I'll just think of something", I turn my body around to walk towards my room then Micheal called me out, "Cal, you know what happens when you bottle everything up inside!".

I stopped walking and let my fingers run through my hair, and turn to him and give in, "fine! I'll sit down in your fucking office". I sit down on the kitchen stool beside him, looking at him feeding himself some cereal. 

"You know, I should be laying on that couch, resting my mind on it", I told him. 

"Who do you think I am? A psychiatrist? Man, we bro's talk in the kitchen on the kitchen stools", he said and I just went along with it. 

"So, something happened with Shay", I told him while resting my elbows on the counter .

"Obviously, girls are crazy like that", he said and I point at his direction as a sign that he's on point with that fact. "So, what happened?"