06; Voices

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Calum's POV

I shut the door of my LA home where I share with the band, I could not believe what just happened. I was helping a boy building sandcastles, who is possibly my son. My son! A son with Shay, I am excited and furious at the same time because I never imagined sharing a child with anyone else other than my first love, Shay Mitchell Dallas. On the other hand, I'm fucking furious cause she didn't tell me about him! Why would she not let me know? I'm the father, I have the right to know. This is all so overwhelming, I need to sit down even though I have been sitting down on the beach all afternoon processing what happened. 

I sit down on the couch where Ashton is  playing Fifa, "hey,man".

He turned his head and nod, "hey, dude. Where the hell were you? Micheal is pissed...", he said and went on a high-pitched voice when he said pissed. 

"I can guess, man. Fuck!", I shouted cause I'm not a dumbass to know my friend is mad at me. I stood up and walk straight to my room, but halfway there I feel my shoulder being pushed.

"Do you even take your work seriously?!", it was Micheal. 

"I really have no time for this, I'm tired. Let's talk tomorrow", I said sternly and continue walking but he pushed me again. 

"What the fuck, man!", I yelled at him.

"You left me all alone working on a song that was supposed to be ours! We have a fucking deadline, Calum! Is being an international rockstar gives you a pass to be an asshole? You forgot on how to be a fucking decent person?! If you do not like working with me anymore, then just go solo for all I care! You think you're better than the rest of us right? You have been a real fucking dipshit, you know that! I don't think I can call you my friend anymore", he points his finger on me like I'm the one to blame for everything. 

I pushed him back, "I just went for a fucking break, Micheal! Is that really bad?! Is it because I didn't hold your hand on the fucking beach? Huh?! You think all of this has been easy for me? Yeah,I realised that I can be an asshole but.."

Suddenly Luke came over and put his hands on my chest, asking me to stop yelling. "Calum, enough man".

"Don't tell me what to do,man! You do not know what I have to go through today"

"Go fuck yourself, Calum. I don't even give a rats ass", Micheal said and walk away and slam his bedroom door behind him. 

Yeah, I feel guilty for ditching him in the studio but I just need fresh air. 

"You happy, now?", Luke look at me with his judging blue eyes. 

"This is my fault?! Are you fucking kidding me, Luke? You're taking his side?!", I was only taking a walk, why is everyone so fucking sensitive? 

"I'm not taking anyone's side, man! But since the 1D tour, you are starting to become an asshole and as times pass by, you are growing into a huge..fucking..asshole", Luke stated and I put my fingers through my hair. He is my bestfriend and he thinks of me this way? 

"A pain in the ass!", Ashton shouted from the couch, sharing the same opinion as Luke and Micheal. 

"Shut up, man! What do you know?", I yelled back out of frustration, I didn't really want to yell at Ashton.

"Dude", I feel Luke's hand on my shoulder. I turned to him and I could just know what he would say and I really hate when he mentions of it, I know he means well but I'm not crazy. 

"Try and go meet someone about this, a professional", he said with concern, but why concerned, I'm fucking fine! 

I push his hand away from my shoulder, "Luke! I'm not meeting a shrink, I'm not crazy!"

"You're not going in for being crazy, you need to sort out your anger", he follows me into my room. 

"Luke, get the hell out of my room!"

"Bro, I don't fucking know what's your problem? You have been so angry, and the only time you're happy is when you're drunk! Everytime I try to talk to you, you tell me you're fine but then 30 seconds later, you're shouting at Ashton for taking the last banana!", he expresses his concern but I wanted that banana, Ashton has enough banana in his system! I understand what Luke is saying but I don't even know why I am such an angry person these days, I do not even know the reason why and I do not want to admit that. That will just show how stupid and unoriented I am and that too, makes me mad at myself. 

"Luke,I get it! I was a jerk ditching Micheal at the studio but I was just taking a walk, is that a crime?", I still want to defend my right on taking some fresh air.

"You wre supposed to be writing with him, you know that we have to get the songs done by the end of this month. At least give him a heads up or something, not simply dissapear", Luke is a great friend but I'm tired of people pinning every single thing on me. 

"I want to go to bed, I'm tired", I take off my sneakers and lay on bed and pull the sheet over my head. 

"Fine, man. I'm done! I'm tired of trying", I can hear Luke walk out from my bedroom. 

I've screwed up, and I don't even know why I have turn into this monster. I'm losing my friends, and I have no idea how to mend it back. The next thing that crosses into my mind is Shay, she always know what to say. She's one smart girl, well, she's a woman now. She might tell me off too, I left her just like that and I felt guilty ever since but I was mad too. She wanted to leave me first! But does she ever go to Princeton? Did she manage to chase her dreams, with taking care of Tommy? I scream into my pillow, feeling so frustrated with myself because if she did not have what she wanted, it's on me if Tommy is my son. 

Shit, what have I done?

I take my phone out of my back pocket, and trying my luck that Shay's number is still in here. I scroll to S in my contacts and there it is, Shay. Should I call her? Did she ever changed her number? I understand if she did, and most likely she did to avoid me but I never made any form of communication with her so there's a chance that she still has this number. I tap on her number and place my phone at my ear. 

It's ringing so that means it's still in service, but it went to voicemail. She might recognize my number cause I too, have not changed my number. It's just too much work when all of my contacts are here. I was about to end the call but I heard her voice.

Hey, you've reached Shay Dallas and I'm currently busy doing whatever, just leave a message and I'll get back to you asap. 

Listening to her voice brings back so much memories, the happy times. I remember holding her hand and kiss her on the lips. It was magical, what the hell happened? What's gonna happen now? I should try and call her again tomorrow, I deserve an explanation.

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a/n: So as you can see, he's one angry Calum. And Luke is such a sweetheart and Ashton is an adorable banana and Micheal is one angry pokemon. Thanks for reading, leave a comment, or not :)

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