Searching for the light (Namkook)

Part 34

Namjoon was afraid of parting ways with Jungkook that day. He didn't want to loosen his grip on his love. It felt like if he would let go of him then everything will be lost forever. He cannot afford that.

After all the confession and kisses, a wave of shyness struck the environment inside the car. No one could utter a single word. Namjoon was out of words due to happiness while Jungkook was silent due to acute shyness. When the car took a halt in the signal, Namjoon noticed the younger fiddling his fingers on his lap with gaze fixated outside the window. The elder's right hand was on the steering wheel while his left hand found it's above the younger's hands stopping the fiddling. Jungkook looked down at his lap and held the giant hand with both his hands warmly for some time until the signal was green.

The car reached Jungkook's dropping location. "I will call you after dinner. Take care." Saying this he clicked open the car door lock. "Can you please not go today?" "Huh??" He was puzzled. "Stay with me please." Namjoon's gaze was too intimidating to face. "Namjoon you know I can't. Please don't make this hard for me to deny you." "Then stay for some more time. We can go to the riverside and then I'll drive you back." Jungkook couldn't crush the hope he saw in the other man's eyes. He took out his phone and dialled his father's number to inform about his late return to home. His father didn't ask too many questions as he has full trust on Namjoon.

The dark side of the river bank was brightened by the twinkling starts up in the sky. The sound of the water ripples and the slightly cold breeze was soothing the environment. Jungkook was helped to take a seat on the grass. Namjoon leaned on Jungkook's shoulder and held him close by the waist. In response, he placed his own head on Namjoon's and started playing with the elder's free hand.

"Thank you for sitting here with me." "I will always be there for you. I love spending time with you. Gosh do I have to tell all these after the big confession?" Jungkook frowned jokingly with pink cheeks and nose. Namjoon let out a soft chuckle and pinched the pink nose earning a smack on his hand. "I meant each and every word I said Jungkook. You have become the most beautiful part of my life."

This was the right time to come face to face with his past. After deep thoughts, he gained the confidence to ask, "Shall we rewind time a little and meet your past?" The expected reaction was way softer than he thought. Namjoon just lifted up his head from the younger's shoulder and intertwined their hands.

"I was 20 when I received a phone call from my uncle Jimin, he is my mother's younger brother. It was a friends' trip to Japan. It took around 2 days to arrange the departure flight ticket. Being in foreign land, my uncle just told me to come back as my mother was sick and admitted to hospital." Jungkook nodded his head gesturing to proceed ahead. "When I came back, I found out my entire world crashed in front of my eyes. A horrific accident took away my parents' lives. Appa was found spot dead while eomma was brought to the hospital where she breathed her last the same morning I returned."

Jungkook squished the speaker's hands to provide moral support sensing the dire grievances in the glistening eyes of not being able to see his parents for the last time, feel their comfort for the last time. "I still hate the day when it happened fourteen years ago. It was 2nd of July to be exact." Jungkook's concern turned into astonishment and curiosity.
"Which year was it Namjoon?" He asked as if struggling to breath.

"2009."

Namjoon felt the warmth of the opposite person's hands got replaced with cold shiver. Breathing became heavy and things changed in a moment drastically. It felt like it was not Jungkook. It was someone else. Namjoon pulled him closer asking, "Hey! Are you okay?" Just that one question was enough to trigger the man. He started crying hysterically making the older worry like anything.

Namjoon put Jungkook's head on his chest and encircled his arms around him kissing his head occasionally to calm him down. After few minutes, Jungkook pulled out and said, "I'm so sorry Namjoon. I should be the one to console you instead I just broke down like the weak and useless person I am." "Hey just relax baby! You are stronger than I am, the strongest I've ever seen." Namjoon said rubbing his thumb on his cheeks to wipe off the tears.

Namjoon was afraid to ask why the crying boy was so panicked by the year 2009. But he got the answer anyway as Jungkook himself spoke out, "The accident that destroyed my life happened the same day. So that makes me and your parents the victim of the same tragic incident." The hiccups continued but stopped in few minutes. Namjoon just kept comforting the younger.

"So today we will be facing the demons of both of our pasts together. Right?" Jungkook nodded in agreement. They both were determined to follow the task.

"My life was never the same as it was with my parents in it. But my uncle Jimin along with his husband uncle Yoongi really took care of me like their own child. They love me just like my parents did but they always say that my parents are irreplaceable as my uncle was really affected after loosing his one and only sister." Namjoon said with a hint of immense affection towards his uncles. Jungkook smiled lovingly.

"But this is not the entire story of your past. Is it?" "No" Namjoon shook his head and Jungkook cupped his cheeks with both hands, "I want to listen to all of it only if you are comfortable." "I'm ready to face it." Jungkook pursed his lips displaying a supporting smile giving enough comfort to the elder to continue his story.