falling like the stars, sam winchester [ 3 ]

029. single dad

Sam gets back to the cabin, shutting the door.

"Daddy!" Carly races towards him, being the only one up. She crashes into him, Sam hugging her back. He detaches her from him and kneels down, tightly hugging her.

"Where's mommy?" Carly frowns, not seeing her mom walk in.

"Mommy, uh... we-well, um... mommy, Uncle Dean, and Cas, they, uh... um... they kind of-- they disappeared when-- when we took care of the bad guy, Dick Roman." Sam says.

"Did he kill them?" Her eyes water.

"I-- I don't really know what happened, baby." Sam sighs. "They-- they just disappeared into thin air. I just-- they're gone. You know? Like-- like I was gone a few years ago."

"No more mommy?" Carly's voice cracks.

"I'm sorry, baby girl." Sam whispers, his own eyes tearing up.

Carly breaks down into a fit of sobs, Sam pulling her back into his arms, cradling the girl to his chest.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry." He mumbles, pressing soft kisses to her head. He rocks her back and forth.

"I want mommy!" She wails.

"I know, baby. I know. So do I." Sam whispers, a few of his tears falling onto his daughter's hair.

+++

It's been a couple of weeks and Sam got the Impala fixed up and left the cabin, deciding to leave hunting behind. He doesn't want to become hyper focused on trying to find out what happened to his wife while he has three children to care for. He doesn't want to neglect them. He refuses to turn into his father.

"Come on, baby girl." Sam mumbles, trying to give Serena some milk, the girl refusing to drink the formula. "Please, baby." He's practically begging by now, the girl at this for about an hour. "I know it probably doesn't taste as good as mommy, but it's all I can give you."

"She likes music sometimes." Carly says.

"What?" Sam asks.

"If she doesn't stop crying, mommy puts Disney music on." Carly says, grabbing the iPad and finding the music and playing the Disney playlist.

"Okay." Sam mumbles, continuing to rock his youngest who finally calms down after about four of the songs play. "Finally." He whispers. "Here. Want some milk?" He holds the bottle to her lips, Serena finally drinking some. Sam lets out a deep sigh of relief.

+++

"No!" Wyatt yells.

"Buddy, hey--" Sam starts.

"Mommy!" Wyatt screams.

Sam sighs, wincing. It's been two months without Miranda and Carly's the only one really able to process that she probably isn't coming back. Death still kind of confuses the five year old, but she gets that it means you won't see the person again. Serena doesn't really understand, only being inconsolable a few times instead of every day when she misses her mother's touch.

Wyatt seemed to be doing okay, but has gotten moodier in the past few weeks, not understanding why his mother isn't there to take care of him. His two year old brain isn't sure of what's happening and he just wants the woman who hugged him all the time.

"Honey, it's time for bed." Sam tells his son.

"I want mommy!" He yells, crying.

"I know. I know. I want your mommy, too. But-- but she isn't here. I've explained it, remember? She... she went somewhere and she can't come home." Sam says.