I lied," I say still looking at his lips, he opens his eyes and gazes over at me.
"Uh oh," he whispers, not breaking eye contact. I am suddenly aware of his lingering stare. He looks at me everywhere, every inch, there was no hiding from it. His ga...
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chapter thirty-five- my girlfriend's a vampire
WHEN I WAKE UP MY THROAT IS DRY AND SORE. I sit up, examining Nora's room, like I haven't been in it a dozen times.
I watch Nora's chest go up and down, up and down, she holds onto her pillow, her curls shielding her eyes and face. I sit up, realizing i'm naked, her room is cold and dark.
I truly loved Nora. I never felt a love like this, it was not like this with Astrid or Stacie or Lisa or any other girl.
It blows my mind and terrifies me that she's changed me so much in such a short amount of time. Since her my sadness has been at bay, my angry bad thoughts decreasing. I didn't want to die suddenly?
Before her, every morning I dreamt of never waking up, to be taken in my sleep. Even sometimes now, it appeals to me, but right here, right now, everything goes quiet.
My life was now split, pre Nora and post. I don't want an after Nora. I had to stop being so paranoid.
Dr. V always said that I was, I spent so much time worrying about everything that could go wrong, I didn't even have time to think about what could go right.
Nora stirs, then places a hand on my lower, exposed back, rubbing in circles. It's like she knows i'm hers, even if I hadn't said it yet.
I can see her eyes in the dark and they are black, her hair messed up from sex. I lean down to kiss her, slow and lazy, but my tongue lingers between her lips. She reaches up so high, just to have a few seconds longer.
I rest my head on the fuzzy pink pillow and she wraps her arm around me holding me tight.
"Tell me everything about you." I say, tracing a scar on her elbow. "You can go on for hours. I don't mind."
"What do you want to know?"
"Nora," I say. "Everything."
She nods. "I...I don't know where to begin. Let's see, my middle name is Arabella, which is my grandma's name."
She begins, locking our fingers together as she speaks. She continues on, rambling from one topic to the next, making me smile at her in the darkness.
"Danielle is literally my only friend ever, i've known her since the second grade."
"We're friends," I add.
"We are friends." she laughs.
"What else?" She trails off, thinking out loud. I could listen to her voice all day long.
"let's see, I hate social media, when I was in middle school I was obsessed with vampires and told everyone I was a vampire and would carry a water bottle filled with red kool aid."
"You did not," I can't hold in my laughter, she nudges me, for bullying her, but laughs herself. "I can't believe my girlfriend's a vampire."
My heart rushes when I realize what i've said, my cheeks heat and I feel so embarrassed and stupid.
"Girlfriend?" she asks, shyly.
I nod, but say yes when I realize she's not even looking at me. "I like the sound of that, my girlfriend's a vampire, it sounds like a rock band."
"It does," I say as my heartbeat returns to normal.
"Can I bite you?" She leans over so that she is sprawled in my lap looking up at me with those cocoa eyes.
"Where at?"
She scrunches her nose up, thinking; the way she always does.
She picks my forearm up, raising it to her lips, they're soft and familiar. She's still laying in my lap, like a fallen angel. Nora clamps down and bites, not hard, but not soft either.
When she releases me, my arms is red with bite marks. We both stare at it, not saying anything.
"Damn, I didn't know you were freaky like that." I joke.
"Shut up," she says through a laugh. "You told me to."
We don't share anymore words after that, mostly because Nora dozes off shortly after, still laying on me. She looked so peaceful, not like the sad girl she was when i'd first met her.
It wasn't too long ago, her coffee eyes were filled with sorrow, her beautiful lips never curved into a smile at first. Even when I flirted and poked fun at her.
She stared emotionless, almost as if she were a dead vampire, maybe she actually was one all along. It made getting her to smile for me a challenge each time.
I hated to admit it, but I loved a challenge, a chase. The buildup brings excitement to my meaningless life, it gives a task to fulfill so that I can stay a little while longer.
I say that each time, I can't go until Bentley passes, I don't want him waiting for me by the door until he's gone, he hasn't many days left. I tell myself i'll wait until I graduate High School, but what fucking for? I didn't want anything for my future, I didn't want one at all. I tell myself I have to stay for Nora, or is it because I selfishly want Nora for as long as she'll have me for?
I know someday, I pray to God not soon, that she'll meet the real me, the one that's angry and messy and crazy and a pathetic mess, fuck up. The me that ruins and destroys because the sadness inside of me. When she meets that Ezra she will run for the hills. I don't want to ruin this girl, please don't let me ruin her.
I gently pry Nora's limbs off me, so not to wake her and quietly slip from the bed. I dress, finishing with my coat and hat and give her a quiet kiss goodbye she'll never know about.
I leave before Nora's mother gets off, and because I have school in the morning, I send her a text for her to read in the morning and tell her that I left soup for her in the fridge and tell her to take medicine and that I love her.
