I lied," I say still looking at his lips, he opens his eyes and gazes over at me.
"Uh oh," he whispers, not breaking eye contact. I am suddenly aware of his lingering stare. He looks at me everywhere, every inch, there was no hiding from it. His ga...
THE NEXT DAYS WERE A BLUR. I spent the remainder of my weekend locked away in my room coming out only to use the bathroom and to stash snacks in my room. The party was a reminder that I was not ready, Ezra was a reminder that I was not ready, not ready to move on, not ready to cope, not ready for much of anything.
I held my breath, rising from my bed, my bones smiled, finally being used for the first time in hours. I spent so much time in bed, curtains drawn, under the covers, here I could be nothing, here was my comfort place.
I made my way over to my collection of records, picking up a beaten and loved Smiths record, the record skipped the first three songs and was heavily scratched. The record was a gift from my father on my thirteenth birthday, I'd spun the record and upwards of 100 times and 100 times more after that. I smile thinking about my dad belting This Charming Man, his personal favorite.
As i'm about to spin the record, the front door opens with the sound of jingling keys. I tip toe back to bed, holding my breath, hopefully Jackie didn't come into my safe place, I couldn't deal with awkward small talk from Jackie right now, so I pretend to be sleep.
"Eleanor?" She calls through the quiet home, I scowl at the sound of my government name, pulling the covers over my head. If you ignore something long enough it will go away, right?
"El, there's a boy outside waiting for you!" she calls louder, a boy? I think to myself, caving, rising from my bed.
I peek my head into the hallway looking for Jackie. "What boy?" I begin. "I don't know any boys," I mumble.
Jackie raises her brow at me, arms crossed. "Elenor, I don't know, i'm too tired for this, just go deal with it," She spits, kicking off her shoes, brushing past me.
Her brightly colored scrubs didn't fit her, she should have been wearing boring gray or blue scrubs, I thought to myself as I made my way towards the front door.
Before I opened the door, I made note of my appearance. I didn't look like a runway model, far from it actually, I looked tired, but I always looked tired.
With a sigh of acceptance, I opened the door, met with a frigid January breeze and Ezra.
He smiles down at me with rosey pink cheeks as if he'd been out here a while. "Not happy to see me, Nora?" he muses.
I open and close my mouth, trying to find words. Literally say anything Nora.
"What are you doing here?" I question dumbly, crossing my arms over my chest, realizing that I wasn't wearing a bra, the cold was starting to nip at me, but I ignored it staring up at Ezra.
His smile never wavers, I glance him up and down realizing he's dressed nicely, he looks expensive, his curls were gelled neatly, bruises gone, he wore a crisp button down shirt and dark blue dress pants and a gray pea coat, he smelled like expensive cologne and then there was me.
He pulls out the journal handing it to me. "Figured you might need this," he says handing it to me.
I take it hesitantly. "You came all this way....to give me this?" I interrogate, furrowing my brows.
Ezra doesn't miss a beat, he shrugs nonchalant. "I was in town," he hums.
"I was in town," I repeat, mocking him.
He says nothing, just smiles, he was being so quiet and lackadaisical, it was freaking me out. "Why are you so dressed up?"
He looks down at himself, "Oh," he begins. "I had dinner with my girlfriends family."
Girlfriend? I try to hide the shock on my face, of course he has a girlfriend. The pause after his statement was long, so I just nod.
"Cool," I comment, avoiding eye contact, something about him made me so nervous, his presence scared me a little.
"Cool," he says with a smirk, mocking me.
"Well i'll be on my way, sorry if I intruded," he begins, making his way down the steps. "Cute pajamas Nora," he adds, with the usual smirk on his face.
My cheeks heat up and I bite my lip to hide my smile. "Goodnight, Ezzie,"
He turns around at that, furrowing a brow at me. "Ezzie?"
I shrug, before turning around to enter my house, before I shut it with me on the inside, I see a genuine smile from Ezra. I try to ignore the flutter it gives me in my stomach.
I lean on my front door looking down at the notebook, I flip through the empty pages, I was told I could write anything in this notebook, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
When i flip to the middle of the book I see a scribbled note. Ezra's number, and a small message. 'For when you think it's a good idea,'
I don't hide my smile as I stare down at the page. Jackie walks up to me brow raised, my smile gone quicker than it came.
"Well, who was it?"
"Ezra," I answer plainly, because I didn't really owe her an explanation, she never cared to ask me about anything else, so why now.
"He seems like bad news. Are you seeing him?" She hisses, furthering her interrogation.
"No," I say walking away. "He has a girlfriend," and i'm not ready for a relationship, but perhaps we could be friends.
When I make my way to the comfort of my room, I rip the notebook page out, placing it on my nightstand, under my salt lamp so I don't misplace it, for when I didn't think it was a bad idea.
a/n look at me with my weekly updates and stuff 😳 sorry this chapter is short, kinda filler ig
