I lied," I say still looking at his lips, he opens his eyes and gazes over at me.
"Uh oh," he whispers, not breaking eye contact. I am suddenly aware of his lingering stare. He looks at me everywhere, every inch, there was no hiding from it. His ga...
I'M SILENT THE MAJORITY OF THE WALK HOME. I've nothing to say, I wanted to let the thoughts in my mind brew a while. He didn't know that I knew, he didn't treat me any differently either.
I couldn't stop stealing glances at him as he walked with his hands deep in his coat pocket. Why would a boy like him ever love a girl like me? We were nothing alike, from two different worlds...love, Could he really have meant it? It was a big word that I had only used with a few people, I could count on one hand how many people i'd said those words to. My dad, my mom, Danielle and my grandma and that was the end of the list.
"You don't tell people you're not okay." He says knocking me from my day dream, he continues. "Because it's hard to watch them not know what to do."
Yes, I want to say, but I can't find words, I nod, meeting his eyes then looking to my feet. His nose was bright red and his cheeks were pale white, looking at him for too long made me remember.
Being inside cars was still hard for me, it reminded me of why my life was so fucked up now, it wasn't Ezra's fault or anyone else's that I was so messed up. He shouldn't have to explain my trauma for me, it was my burden to carry. It was something i'd have to try and overcome, avoiding it was only making it worse for me.
He nudges my shoulder, lightly and I loop my arm with his his. We don't talk the whole rest of the way and the silence is comfortable and needed. My mind was on a thousand, my mind wandered and contemplated, I imagine if I were a cartoon, i'd have clouds of steam shooting from my ears.
When I make it to my doorstep, I'm an ice cube, Ezra gives me a long kiss on the forehead then steps back so that I can leave. I don't move, I stand there, waiting.
He smiles, teasing me, he knows what I want and he probably wants me to ask, but I won't give him the satisfaction.
Ezra," I begin, then stop, thinking better of it. I wasn't supposed to know, I shouldn't bring it up, I didn't want to embarrass him. It would only make things more awkward, I stare down at my boots, abandoning my words.
"Huh?" he asks, pulling me lightly towards him by my coat pockets.
The moon hangs low and full tonight and the stars twinkle above, the universe and the Gods were holding their breaths, looking down at us, so that's what it felt like.
"Goodnight," I say, before turning my back towards him, up the stairs. He grabs my hand, pulling me back down, close. I almost skip a step, falling into him.
He grabs my face tenderly, pulling me in fiercely, our tongues do a familiar dance, and his free hand finds his way around my neck, his cold fingers make me shiver, but the feeling is intoxicating, welcome. He sucks my bottom lip, kissing it after I moan.
