I lied," I say still looking at his lips, he opens his eyes and gazes over at me.
"Uh oh," he whispers, not breaking eye contact. I am suddenly aware of his lingering stare. He looks at me everywhere, every inch, there was no hiding from it. His ga...
chapter twenty-five: i think i might love this girl
IT WAS STARTING SO EARLY ALREADY, THE EXCITEMENT FOR THE WINTER BALL CLUNG TO THE AIR LIKE TACKY STRONG PERFUME. It was only noon and i'd witnessed three dance proposals, each more embarrassing then the last.
One guy interrupted my European History class to ask a quiet mousey faced girl to the dance. He had a poster that read The Ball Would be UnBEARable Without You.
The guy also carried a massive stuffed teddy bear with a red ribbon. The girls face was beat red and she twirled the ends of her hair nervously, but she agreed to go with him, the class hooted and hollered and our teacher seemed mildly annoyed that her lecture was disrupted.
The whole class period I kept thinking about how that girl had to lug that damn bear around, it was far too large to stuff in a locker.
They didn't stop there, and not every girl accepted their offer, one guy was met with an irritated grimace as she shook her head no, the guy look devastated and everyone stared and whispered.
"Oh shit," Chance said beside me at our usual spot in the cafeteria. We couldn't turn our eyes away, even as the boy took the walk of shame out of the cafeteria with his head hung low. He chucked the flowers away in a nearby trash can and a few people laughed.
"That's so fucking embarrassing," Harry said, shoveling food into his mouth. He loosened his tie, unbuttoning his top few buttons. "I feel bad for the guy."
I did too, i'd never really been rejected, not by any girls anyway. I was somewhat of a ladies man, I loved women and women loved me. I loved the curves of a woman, their smiles, their laughs. Naked women, I hadn't seen one of those in longer than i'd like to admit. I wasn't by any means a sex addict, but I did love it.
I hadn't been with anyone since Astrid, and as much as Astrid accused me of it, I never cheated on her. When we were broken up it was a different story, I went through girls like a chain smoker with a pack of cigarettes.
This time it was different though, I only wanted one woman. I wanted all 100 percent of her. I couldn't get her out of my head and I didn't want to either. She plagued my mind.
I wanted to fuck her until her nails latched into my back, but I also wanted to be gentle with her and kiss down her body and make her feel good.
I wondered if she'd ever been with anyone like that...the thought of another man doing that to her made me angry because I know they didn't deserve being with her.
Did I deserve to be with her? I found myself asking that a lot, I didn't know the answer, but I would try until I was deserving.
I wondered if Nora was the kind of girl that wanted a dance proposal, it was too late now, she'd already said yes, but I felt guilty. Like I didn't do enough.
