I lied," I say still looking at his lips, he opens his eyes and gazes over at me.
"Uh oh," he whispers, not breaking eye contact. I am suddenly aware of his lingering stare. He looks at me everywhere, every inch, there was no hiding from it. His ga...
THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING. The only sound is the click of her heels and the occasional car honk from the streets. She walks slightly ahead of me, her hair bouncing with each click. Click, sway, click, sway. We walked like that for a while.
"Nora," I say, it comes out shy and is swallowed up, she doesn't hear me I think, it's also a strong possibility that she could be ignoring me.
I say her name again, she turns slightly, not stopping. She's pissed and she has every right to be. That was not supposed to happen, any of it. Me burning the food, my parents, her giving herself to me not that I was complaining about that part. If I thought too long about that part a bubbly feeling would arise in my stomach.
The feel of his fingers tugging my hair, the way it felt to be on top of her, in between her legs. She said she wanted to kiss me again. I should have just kissed her, but I was afraid to mess it up, I was giddy and drunk and completely absorbed by her.
I wanted her more than anything, i'm sure a blind person could even see that, but it was supposed to be special and it kept getting ruined.
My parents were the icing on the cake, they ruined everything, it was hereditary; the ruination. I knew if I introduced them to her they'd be nasty, and stuck up and ask about Astrid, it was me sparing her, really.
They knew how to poke and pry in all the ways that made you feel bad about yourself. I didn't want her to be subjected to that, at least not without a proper warning. I know looking back I could have let her know this, but I didn't want to share my parents with Nora, I didn't want them to dim the positive glow I received from her.
So here I am explaining this all to Nora. She just nods and mhm's me to death.
"I keep giving my heart to you, and you keep....dropping it, it's fragile enough as is." Her words are low, I have to walk in close to hear over her shoes.
I say nothing, waiting for her to take a long dramatic sigh, she was deeply thinking about her next words, my heart was sinking deep.
"I cannot be romantically involved with you, Ezra." She says it plainly, like she's completely lost feelings for me that quick.
"From now on i'm setting boundaries." she starts. "No....kissing, showing up announced, or confession of feelings, we are just friends, explicitly just friends, nothing more."
I say nothing because what rebuttal would I offer, she clearly had her mind set and she seemed serious. I felt like my chest had caved in, like the rug had been pulled up from underneath me. I had the urge to cry, how had I fucked up this bad.
