Banned To Touch | jenlisa

Chapter 46

JENNIE

I wake up drenched in sweat and it takes me a moment to realize I'm in my place. Something stirs next to me and I see blond hair and a bare, delicate back. I stroke her velvety hair, her lips curling in a small smile. My heart jumps. My angel.

After I got her sports bag, she freshened up in my bathroom and took off her make-up. And as much as those sinful red lips drive me insane, I prefer what's down there.

I pull her naked body back against my body by her waist and she sighs my name. Again I feel my chest getting warm and I wonder if running for my life might not be a better option. I can't think about it for long, because its heavenly scent suddenly gives me so much rest and... peace.

The next morning I wake up alone just like my nightmare ended.

-

It's been five days since I didn't see her. From Sunday to Wednesday I spent the days in Kingsland on a ranch to clear my head there. I also used the time to continue painting. One painting I'm still not quite finished with is still locked in my closet. I definitely have to work on it again because my deadline is next week.

The following day, I traveled to Huntsville as I still had... business to attend to because the damn bastard Jeffrey Peterson has nothing but bad news to report. I don't remember well how Lisa shocked him unconscious with her stun gun. A smile breaks my lips as I write the grade point average for the 'Taming of the Shrew' essay on the blackboard.

I automatically have to remember that she chose Petruchio as the safe word. The characters in the drama chastises Katharina's difficult, infernal ways by starving her, torturing her with insomnia, humiliating her, oppressing her, taking her voice "only for love", as Petruchio so beautifully put it. And of course to raise her to be a model lady.

Again, I wonder what that bastard ex-boyfriend did to her, but I try to put those thoughts away quickly. A picture of me throwing my punching bag off the wooden beam in the barn in the barn on Monday because I was so upset flashes through my mind.

Today I will mainly be having one-to-one sessions with all students to talk to them about their grades and solutions to help some of them improve it. God, help me if one of these imbeciles gets stuck and I have to have him or her again in the coming year.

Well, except for my lovely Lalisa, of course.

I love watching her in class. How she bubbles with ideas, philosophizes and discusses them. How she gets passionate about topics she likes. How she cares for everyone. Her empathy touches me every time and I can no longer deny that she changed me. She has every sparkle of affection from me even if she is constantly rebellious towards me. I have to smile again.

The bond between us is indescribably strong. I always feel it when she's near me - like now, for example. I feel her coming through the door and I instantly turn my face to her. Sana is talking to her right now, but she's not listening. Her tired eyes are fixed on me and she looks at me with such longing that I want to carry her out of the classroom and tag her right in the hallway. But there is no more. she is suffering.

My chest tightens, especially when she looks at me with a relieved smile, like... she's missed me.

The sixteen minutes that go by feel like forever while I'm talking to Lily, Jay and Sam. And finally my Lalisa Manoban is coming. I kept glancing at her inconspicuously and always caught her staring at me. She never looked away in embarrassment and I wanted to give up all my possessions for her thoughts.

Fragile, she sits down next to me behind the desk. I immediately put my hand on her lap and hate that she's wearing jeans instead of shorts because now I can't feel her warm, soft skin. She is wearing a loose linen shirt through which the outline of her black bra can be seen. Her hands are tied in a messy bun and I can see the lethargy plaguing her. And yet she is beautiful, like an angel. Unexpectedly, she encloses my hand tightly in hers under the table as if I were her anchor.

"I am sorry." It suddenly bursts out of her mouth, which is why I look at her confused.

"For what?"

"I shouldn't have just disappeared on Saturday. I wanted..." - she looks down at her essay so as not to look me in the eye - "I... was so confused and needed time to process everything and to think about it."

I point my finger at her impeccable work to pretend we're discussing it. "And what is your conclusion?"

Now she looks me straight in the eyes and smiles sadly. I'm exploding inside, even if I seem calm on the outside. "I realized I like it. Even very much. And... that I like you very much."

My eyes widen and I can't keep up my facade, just have to smile.

"But..." Oh no, please don't break my world. "Before I came to you, I did something very... imprudent. I have yet to straighten it."

Anger rises in me. Any more obstacles? Does something always have to come up when we get closer to each other? She would like to force her to confess what happened to me, but that's not possible here.

"And what does that mean for us now?" I scolded her softly.

She digs her nails into my hand as if holding back. "After that, I'll end it."

My eyes widen briefly and my grip on her thigh becomes stronger. How dare you here and now in front of eighteen students give me an expiry date for our time? Not with me, young lady.

Again I take on the ice-cold face. "Oh, so you're thinking that just because we're in a full classroom here that I'm not going to link up with you, ungrateful child?"

She looks at me in shock and wants to move away from me, but I just hold her tighter. I scan the class briefly to see if anyone is watching, but everyone is afraid of the punishment that will follow if they don't follow my assignments.

"Are you crazy?"

"You tell me you like me, yeah? And the next moment that you want to leave me? And then you ask me - me! - if I'm crazy, Lalisa?"

"What are you talking about-"

"I thought I was the only one who could trigger these feelings in you, who could make you feel better." I slide my hand higher, toward her center. She tries in vain to slap my hand away and scolds me softly. "Stop it!", but why should I still listen to her? I grip her flesh tightly and she gasps.

"Stop it, Jennie. Please."

"But no, as always you are an ungrateful child and don't appreciate all I do for you. Why am I even wasting my time with you?"

She pauses trying to push my hand away and her glassy eyes look at me with so much emotion. Shock, anger and... pain.

Abruptly, she scratches my hand as hard and deeply as possible, as if trying to hurt me. My hand jerks back and suddenly I realize what I just said.

"I didn't mean to-"

"And for you, I wanted to end my relationship with Leo." She sighs and stands up.

"I'll go to the restroom." She says succinctly, loud enough for her classmates to hear, before she disappears.

I rub my face and want to smash that desk for throwing my outburst at her. She didn't want to leave me, she wanted to leave her boyfriend... and as always, I destroyed everything.

I should have waited, let her speak, instead of freaking out like that. Damn it!