Chapter 44

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LISA

Fingertips, rough and tender at the same time... yet not at all innocent.

Lips so sweet, sensual, addictive... and so damn sinful.

Words that put me off, scare me and yet... I don't want anything more than her.

For the third time now she's asking me to tell her what happened to me earlier while driving me crazy with her touching, stopping again and torturing me. My breathing is ragged and my body trembles with pent-up pleasure.

"Tell me, Lalisa." Jennie looks at me with a mixture of anger, desire and... with concern. Am I correct?

Suddenly I feel very dizzy and I don't know how much longer I can stand it.

"Jennie, stop it. Please. I cannot anymore." I croak while hating how weak I sound.

She frowns first and gives me that monotonous look before abruptly picking me up bridal style as if I weigh nothing. For a moment I think I see something painful twinkle in her eyes, but as quickly as it was there, it's gone just as quickly. If I had the strength I might fight back, but here in her arms... I feel so protected.

Her eyes lock onto mine and she doesn't even break eye contact as we sit down on the couch. I wish I could read her like a book like she always does with me. But whenever the going gets tough, there's that cold look on her face. Without feelings, without regrets, without anything. And... I hate it.

Instead of setting me down next to her, she sits me sideways on her lap and strokes up and down my spine while drawing circles on my knee with her other hand. This gesture soothes and excites me at the same time that I don't know if I am wants her to stop or not.

"Jennie." I sigh and close my eyes. As if she were the answer to all questions. She kisses my collarbone, then my neck, my jaw and finally my lips. She slides her tongue into my mouth and the lust flows through my veins like no other person.

How can she always dominate me like that one moment and be so tender the next?

This time I'm the one who breaks free. I inspect every inch of her face, trying to memorize and caress every detail. Automatically, she places her cheek in my hand and I see the left corner of her mouth lift, revealing one of her not-so-deep dimples. Her eyes are black with desire and her dark, long hair shines to the end. She is so beautiful.

The things she does to me, this wanting me to lose my mind every time, my feelings... everything she does to me is destabilizing.

And yet it is everything and even more.

Maybe it's the way she's looking at me, or maybe it's because I have a guilty conscience and want to tell her the truth - at least some of that - but suddenly I find myself saying, "I've been with someone before who's constantly repressed and made me think I was nothing."

I can feel her automatically stiffen, but I continue undeterred, finally having to say it out loud, "I should consider myself lucky that he wasted his time with me. And well... I was stupid enough to believe him."

As I tell her a bit of my story, I don't look her in the eye, but try to focus on her lips as more memories haunt me.

"Swallow those pills, Lis. And we'll be fine quickly." He said while trying to put the pink pills in my mouth.

He's given me some pills to make me feel better. Some work, some don't. Which is why I've only felt one thing for weeks: Nothing.

"C'mon, Lisa! I'll stuff it down your fucking throat myself!"

Banned To Touch | jenlisaWhere stories live. Discover now