Chapter Seventy Six

11 2 0
                                    

MIA

Ups! Gambar ini tidak mengikuti Pedoman Konten kami. Untuk melanjutkan publikasi, hapuslah gambar ini atau unggah gambar lain.

MIA

I lose count of how many times I read and re-read the letter. My eyes scan the words over and over, taking them in and digesting them like there's a secret code to be found between the sentences. My fingertips glide across the smooth paper that holds so much emotion. So many raw feelings.

A wave cracks just below my feet and pelts broken water droplets onto the letter. I move back quickly, saving the ink from bleeding.

Keeping the letter close to me to save my heart from bleeding too.

I stand clumsily and sway, holding the letter out in front of me again and bringing it close to my face, mentally snapshotting the words and keeping them in my mind forever.

Huge, thick tears spill down my cheeks, merging with the water from the sea. Cold winds wisp around my body and assault my hair into a frenzy.

But I feel none of it.

I only feel the warmth of Grayson's words. I only feel the realness of the paper in my hands as I clasp it so hard and push it close to my chest.

I love Grayson. I truly love him but I honestly believe we're too far gone to make us work. Once upon a time I'd have given anything to go to New York with him, now it seems like a disaster waiting to happen. A goddamn evil force seems to follow us whenever we're together and it shatters us every time.

Has Grayson really walked out of the life he once knew? Is he changing everything? I hope he is. Not for me, but for him. I can be happy for him from afar. I can be happy for him and root for him even if we're not together. Even if we don't speak anymore.

Spiritually, I can wish him all the best for the rest of his life.

He said he'd give me time, and that's what I need. It's what we both need. He needs time to sort out his life and I need to sort out mine. Both of our heads are in the wrong places and it's because of each other.

Can't he see that we're a beautiful disaster?

Maybe he should go to New York alone. It would do him some good to find some space. If he has truly left behind that life, the distance will help him truly move on.

I can't think about New York. I can't think about Grayson now. I have to think about me and my job. My studies. I have to think about my future and what I want from my life. I can't allow myself to envisage Grayson there. I just can't.

Stuffing the letter in my pocket, I turn and make my way back home.

The house is silent. Light, delicate rain drops flicker onto the conservatory roof and for a very brief moment I just sit there.

Listening.

Thinking.

Taking the letter back into my hand and holding it tightly.

Clearing my mind from the past.

Trying to move on.

Trying to move on

Ups! Gambar ini tidak mengikuti Pedoman Konten kami. Untuk melanjutkan publikasi, hapuslah gambar ini atau unggah gambar lain.
Shadows and Stars: A Darker Love ✔Tempat cerita menjadi hidup. Temukan sekarang