Shadows and Stars: A Darker Love ✔

Chapter Twenty Two

The grey of the clouds that completely blanket the sky this morning mirror my feelings; glum and, well...nothing. Just nothing.

After everything that's happened in the past twenty-four hours, I don't know what to think about anything anymore. Anderson is probably put off speaking to me ever again. My new acquaintance, Brody, has confused me more than ever. And Grayson apparently doesn't want to speak to me ever again.

Maybe on some level I knew this; maybe on some level I knew I wouldn't see him again anyway. He ended things, and that's what happens when you break up. But equally, feelings of anger and curiosity surface from some deep place within me. I still feel as though Grayson and I didn't have the closure that was needed.

I need to see him again, despite the things that Brody said. I don't care if it gets me into danger. I need to find him, and I need to hear it from his own mouth. Brody said I'm his true love, and I refuse to believe that he can give up on me so easily if that genuinely is—or was—the case.

A stir in the hallway breaks me from my dark, clouded thoughts, and a slight smile grows from my dry lips as I hear my best friend hurdle up the stairs.

     "Mia, you home?" Hailey calls.

I yank open my bedroom door, welcoming her blonde—albeit messy—hair that brightens this dreary December morning. "Hey, how was your night?"

A yawn stretches across her face. "Good...crazy. I don't remember a thing. And my head is pounding. Yours?"

     "Crazy too," I joke, trying my best to hide the fact that my night was spent almost sleeping with Anderson, to involving myself with dodgy guys at the tube station, and to Brody driving me home in his BMW. You couldn't even make stuff like that up.

Hailey nods, leaning her limp body against the landing radiator. "Anyway," she takes a water bottle from her coat pocket and unscrews the lid, taking a large gulp before continuing, "We have a New Years Eve party to plan."

Glad that she isn't prying any further about my night, I smile. But then I furrow my brows. "We're hosting it?"

     "God no," Hailey scoffs. "I thought that we could book one of the parties in the city. There's plenty of venues, we just have to find the best one."

The thought of doing anything right now other than looking for Grayson makes me feel internally drained, but on some level maybe I need this distraction. That and getting my head into my work ready for the new term. "Okay," I say, resting my head against my bedroom door. "I'll do some searching."

Hailey smiles, ambling on to her bedroom but stopping before she reaches the door. "Oh," she says, her cheeks turning a soft, pink colour. "I've invited your brother too."

I roll my eyes, stifling a laugh. "You don't need to feel embarrassed anymore, I know you two are a thing now. I know Lucas will be over here sometimes."

Hailey bites her lip with timidness; a gesture I'm not used to seeing on her usual brave face. "I know. Sorry. Just wanted to check you're cool with it."

     "As long as he's not keeping an eye on me the whole night then it's totally fine."

Hailey smiles, and throws me a nod that suggests that she will keep Lucas at bay on New Years Eve. I couldn't bear the feeling of him keeping tabs on me the whole night. I moved to London to build my independence, and I intend to keep it that way.

Back in my room and scouring the internet, I browse the many venues that are hosting New Year's Eve parties this year. With just under two weeks until the date, I know we need to find something quickly. A lot of places are booked up, and I fling my head into my hands at the frustration of the central venues already being sold out. I should leave it to Hailey; Hailey will be able to find something amazing within five minutes, and with some extra discount or free drink thrown in too. But I said I would help, so I keep searching.

Lists of venues pop up, but none that seem central. As I swipe my thumb further and further down the screen, a huge bout of breath seems to be ripped right from my lungs: Plasma.

Seeing the word on the screen in front of me seems to send my stomach spiralling. So many memories of that place, despite the fact I only spent one proper night there. But it was the first night I met him, and I can't seem to let the importance of that night go—even if I did vomit over myself.

I click on the link, watching as the website for Plasma loads in front of me. Bright colours of pink and blue fills the screen, much like the exterior of the glass building. Memories flood my mind from the images; memories of Hailey and I dancing; of laughing uncontrollably as we downed shots; of meeting Grayson Cooper, and being caught in a moment between him as we met—albeit unintentionally—in the staffroom. A moment that would lead to so, so much more. I just didn't know it at the time.

I sigh as I scroll further down the screen, trying to keep the memories of Grayson to the back of my mind, but when a large banner catches my eye reading 'New Years Eve spaces still available', I quickly shut off the screen and throw my phone to the bed. I can't go back there, I just can't. As much as I want to see that beautiful yet flawed man, I'm not sure I'm strong enough to set foot in that establishment.

A knock sounds at my door, and before I can even respond Hailey bursts through and breaks me of my pink and blue electric thoughts. "Found a venue, and it's all booked!" She squeals.

     "What?" I ask through a breath. Though I'm not sure I'm even surprised; I knew Hailey could find something within minutes.

Hailey throws herself to the edge of my bed, flicking the screen of her phone in my direction. "Yep. At the Grand Palace Hotel. I managed to even get the tickets a bit cheaper." Hailey swings her blonde hair around with proudness. "It's also right next to the river, so we can watch the fireworks at midnight!"

A smile stretches from my lips; I'm glad that Hailey found somewhere so quickly that it stopped me from a mad moment of booking tickets at Plasma. "Thanks Hailey," I say sincerely. "I'll transfer you the money."

Hailey pats my shoulder, clearly sensing my off tone, but doesn't push any further before heading to the bathroom and turning on the shower. I should have done the same when I got home in all honesty; wash away the madness of the last twenty-four hours. God only knows I need to.

Finding some sanity within me, I take out my laptop and decide to get into some studying and prepare some notes before a meeting tomorrow at work. In many ways I like getting my head into my work; it consumes me in a positive way, and allows me to forget about the mess outside of it, temporarily, anyway. Christmas is also round the corner, and simultaneously I decide to book my train tickets. I'm looking forward to going back to Lowerford Bay—to see my dad and Lucas again, and to see the tranquillity of the gorgeous seaside outside of my old home. The thought alone causes my lips to bend at their edges.

I take out my purse, pulling my debit card from the pocket, but I'm taken aback when a white card falls out with it, landing on my duvet in perfect position. Perfect position for me to read the words across the front: Chloe Cooper. Specialist Wedding Planner.

My hearts quickens, my brain only just remembering the fact that Grayson's sister gave me her business card when Grayson and I went for Sunday dinner at his parent's house. It seems so long ago now, even though it really wasn't.

I pick the card up, slowly moving my thumb across the slight indents of the calligraphic writing. I liked Chloe; she was welcoming, friendly, and beautiful. She was just as lovely as Grayson had told me she was, and I could tell that she and Grayson were close, despite the distance between them. And she told me I could contact her anytime, hell she even told me I could visit her anytime, in Sicily. I wouldn't do that of course, not without Grayson, anyway. But the thought still excites me.

Smiling, I lift the card closer to my face, and, almost without thinking, I dial the mobile number etched across the front.