CHAPTER 62: CONFESSIONS

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Tom pulled around to the front and I got in the car.  I said, 'Tommy thank you so much for the beautiful flowers and the card. You really didn't need to do this. It's so expensive."  He said, 'I wanted to" I said, 'Tommy I'm so sorry. I don't deserve these flowers."  He said, "Madison, yes you do." I said, "Tommy you didn't do anything. I had no right to get mad, or to blast you like that. I don't know what is wrong with me."  Tom said, 'Madison you have every right to be upset. You felt like I blindsided you. And you had every right to think that. I mean I honestly should have known where she lived, But I swear to you I didn't."  I said, "Tommy, I'm so sorry."  I cried.  He said, "no please don't cry." He touches my arm. He said, 'you have nothing to be sorry for, please you've got to stop telling me you're sorry. I'm the one who is sorry." I said, "I said horrible things to you. I hurt you."  Tom said, 'I deserved everything you said."  I said, 'Tommy no you didn't"  

He said, "where did you want to go to lunch at" I said, "Do you think since I don't have to come back to work, that we could take a longer lunch, and maybe talk before we eat."  He said, "ok" I said, 'I'd rather do it now, so that I can eat. I want to get it over with but if you have to get back to work."  He said, 'no I would rather get it over with too," I said, "Actually, I'd rather just forget about it."  

Tom ran his hands through his hair.  He said, "Maddie so would I, but we can't do that. I'm sorry, I know this is uncomfortable for you, and I hate that. But if we don't talk about it, I'm afraid it could just end up causing us more problems. My dad gave me good advice. I want to follow it. You have no idea how bad I regret not listening to my parents on their advice. I thought that they were just trying to give me a hard time, nag me, want me to be perfect. I wanted them off my back. I didn't think that they knew what I was going through or that they were right. But my dad was right. The decisions I made then, could cost me the most important thing in my life, you our friendship"

I looked at him.  He said, "What" I said, "What" He said, "did that upset you," I said, 'no, I just not sure if I heard you right."  Tom said, "My friendship with you is the most important thing in my life. I never expected it when I came into the vet clinic to ask you to do this. I honestly thought I would tell you why I wanted a fake girl and ask you to do it and be friends, but I never planned on our friendship taking over and you becoming the most important thing."  I said, 'you mean that Tommy please just be honest with me. You don't need to try and make me feel better, or say things you don't mean"

Tom said, "are you saying you think I'm lying when I say that our friendship is that important to me?"  I said, 'Tommy I don't know."  He said, 'I'm not lying Madison. But why would you think I'd say it if I don't mean it. Are you saying that you believe Audra."  I said, 'Tom" He said, "no, I need to know Madison. Please be honest with me. It's ok if you believe her, but if so, you need to tell me, so that we can work through this. I don't want you to keep things back from me, which will only hurt us in the end."  

I said, "honestly last night, that is one of the reasons I got so hurt and acted like I did, saying those things, asking you to leave, not answering the phone or your texts."  He said, "I see, so you think I've been faking my friendship with you."  I said, "last night I did Tommy" He said, "ok." I said, "it's just it really hurt me when she said make sure you don't sleep with him, don't buy his sweet act, his gentleman acts his charm, because once you sleep with him, he will dump you." Tom said, "Madison that is not true."  I said, "Tommy I know that you don't want to sleep with me and we are just friends, that's not happening, but I care so much about you, and you are becoming so important to me, I'm starting to depend on you, and I mean living in your house with your family, and it hurt me to hear her say that, because I am so afraid and worry I'm going to lose you as my friend, and I got mad at myself, because I don't have the right to be upset."  Tom said, "Madison, Audra has every right to think I'm a jerk, and all the other girls have that right ok. I hurt them. I didn't want to, and I tried not to by treating them in a way that made them see I didn't want a long-term relationship, but Audra nor any other girl out there, knows what I feel. She's wrong. I don't know maybe she is telling you that because she thinks she is doing you a favor, warning you so that you don't get hurt, like she did, like all the others did, or maybe she is doing it to get back at me, and hurt me. I'm just so sorry that you have to deal with this."

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