MY FAKE ROMANCE WITH THE HOTTEST GUY IN SCHOOL

CHAPTER 37: CALM BEFORE THE STORM

I can't sleep. I'm reliving the kisses. How he made me feel. I turn to face him, he's on his back, his hand on his head.  I said, 'Tommy" I don't say it loud, in case he is asleep.  He said, "yeah" I said, "I thought of it earlier, and I was going to tell you, but then well I forgot."  he rolled up on his side and looked at me.  He said, "Tell me what"  

I said, 'I wanted to apologize for being so selfish, and so self-absorbed."  Tom laughed.  I looked at him.  He said, "Madison please, you couldn't be selfish or self-absorbed."  I said, "I was" Tom said, "how do you mean" I said, "well I was all worried all week about this party, how I would react, I mean before you, when I tried to sleep, some nights I could still smell the alcohol, and how gross it smelled I can't stand the smell of beer. I would be back there that night anyway I was thinking about me and my trauma, and when we were sitting in the kitchen, I realized how selfish I've been to you."  Tom said, "Madison you are not selfish" I said, "Tom I didn't even think about your trauma, your pain, your flashbacks."  Tom said, "you lost me."  he smiled.  It should really be illegal the way that man smiles at me. 

I said, 'Tom the last time you were at a party" He said, "oh yeah that. I honestly didn't even think about it."  He laid back down on his back.  I said, "What you didn't. I mean with both of them being there."  He said, "yeah I'm over that." I said, "oh" He said, 'But thank you for thinking of me You ae very sweet."

I said, 'Tom it's ok if you don't want to talk about it, but if you do, I'll listen.  Tom rolled onto his side.  He said, "now where have I heard that before," He smirked.  I laughed.  He said, 'I think it's what I have been saying to you."  I laughed.  So did he.

He said, 'what do you want to talk about?"  I said, 'No I meant you. But you can go to sleep."  He said, 'I don't want to go to sleep. Too hyped up to sleep."  I said, 'oh."  He said, "What did you want to talk about."  I said, 'Tom I just meant if you" He was staring at me. His face is perfection. His whole body, but those eyes, his lips, his jaw.  I am burning up. I am hot all over, because when I look at his face, remembering kissing him, I mean did I really do that. And his lips were kissing my neck.

Tom said, in a deep voice, "Madison, you're blushing" I laughed. So did he.  He said, 'I'll talk about whatever you want." I said, 'I meant about your pain."  Tom smiled.  He said, 'I ain't feeling no pain." I smiled. He was staring intently at me. Making me feel all kinds of things just by his gaze. I said, 'I just meant it was your first party since."  Tom said, 'yeah, but my life has totally changed since that night, in a way I could never have imagined."  I said, "What"  

Tom said to himself never would have thought I could fall for a girl, but here we are.

Tom said, 'Madison I meant having you as a friend. I never could have imagined it."  That hurt. I mean it's true. I never would have imagined either when the summer started, that Tom and I would be not only friends, but I would have agreed to a deal to be his fake girlfriend.

Tom said, 'Hey I don't mean it like that. I can see how you took that."  I said, 'It's ok, it's true, you and I being friends is still so unbelievable."

Tom said, 'Madison I meant I've not ever felt a connection to someone so strong, that I can say whatever, not even with the guys I've known all my life. I mean there is just something about you, when I look at you, you don't judge me, no matter what I say, and you are interested and listen, I've never really had a girl as a friend."

I said, "oh" He said, 'I mean there have been girls in our group that hang out with us, like we would all meet at skating rink, or all meet at the shack or at the mall, but I mean to just do stuff with, hanging out, talking. I mean the fact that I could sit and talk to you about anything. You are in my room, first girl to do that, in my bed, definitely first girl to do that"    I said, 'Are you wishing I wasn't. I mean you probably wish I had a normal life, so that I could be at my own house. You are probably so sick of seeing me all the time. I'm so sorry Tom"