2015

May 10th HEPPY MOTHER'S DAY

BONJOURNO

I like spelling things wrong. Makes me feel liberated. Too bad my teachers don't feel the same way...

ANYWHO. HAPPY MOMMY'S DAY.

Hope you kids all behaved for your poor mother.

Has anyone noticed, a WHOLE TON of stuff happens in May. I've literally been updating everyday. I'm trying not to miss out on the important details.

I attempted to write a rap for my mom...and bought her a gardening book...with my dad's money...

Don't worry, I'll make it up to him when I buy him something for father's day...with my mom's money xD

I kinda don't believe in the idea of only making your mom feel special on ONE DAY.

WE SHOULD MAKE HER FEEL SPECIAL EVERY DANG DAY.

So don't be stupid kids.

Funny enough, well not that funny. Actually, its really sad.

Wow, this is actually REALLY sad. I just noticed...

Anna Jarvis, the inventor of mother's day pretty much spent all her money and sanity trying to get rid of it. In 1914, she convinced the president to make the second Sunday of every may, dedicated to celebrating mom's. Only, she soon realized she actually created a monster. She saw mother's day turn into a commercialized thing where people had to spend tons of money and lost the point of the entire day. Its not meant to be a thing where you buy her stuff and ignore her for the rest of the year.

So she then spent many many MANY years trying to get rid of it.

At the age of 84, she died alone in a mental asylum.

Before her death, she told reporters: "I devoted my entire life to Mother's Day and the racketeers and grafters have taken it over."

So yeah...that's kind of depressing.

But lets look at this in a positive light. DON'T BE BUTTFACES. AND TREAT YOUR MOM BETTER.

I'm sorry for those of you whose mothers may have passed away. May God grant them heaven.

For those of your who are not on the best of terms with your moms, just remember that they carried you around 75% of a year.

They could not fit into their clothes, they had to pee all the time, they gained a ton of weight, and moved up like a bunch of bra sizes.

So it may not seem like a big deal, but the bra size thing is kinda freaky.

So at least thank them for that, if you think they did nothing else for you.

Pregnancy my friends, seems like a horrifying process... O_O

I'm about to launch into a very graphic rant, so I should probably stop now.

And the moral of this story:

Don't start a holiday that may ruin your life, just think it through first.

This was a VERY long update, so i'll finish it off with some useless facts:

Mother's Day is the third most popular holiday, after Christmas and then Easter.

The carnation is the special flower for Mother's Day. Tradition calls for wearing a red one if mom is alive, and white if she has died.

Mother's Day is the third biggest day of the year for sending cards.Mother's Day is the busiest day of the year for restaurants.

More phone calls are made on Mother's Day than on any other day of the year.

24.8 is the median age of women when they give birth for the first time - meaning one-half are above this age and one-half are below. The median age has risen nearly three years since 1970.

Chinese family names are often formed (begin) with a sign that means "mother". It's a nice way of honoring their moms long past.

Some tribes of people, like the Assam in Africa, don't call themselves families. They call themselves "maharis" or "motherhoods.

"The odds of delivering twins are 1-in-33. For triplets, it's 1-in-539.August is the month popular month for having babies.

Tuesday is the most popular day of the week for having a baby.

The average woman in the 17th century gave birth to 13 children

Good Day