Another Door Opens

Epilogue - 'Til death do us part

- EDEN -

“You’re not nervous.”

Miles is trying to suss out how I was feeling about seeing Trey for the first time since we broke up, which will inevitably happen when we walk inside.

He assumes I’m as nervous as he’s apparently feeling about coming face-to-face with my ex-fiancé.

“Why would I be?” I said nonchalantly, collecting my purse from the Uber we drove down in, ready to have a night out where neither of us have to drive and can just enjoy ourselves.

It seems strange to me now that only six months ago, when I first received the wedding invitation, I was mortified about the idea of coming to this wedding and seeing Trey in person. I had desperately hoped he wouldn't accept the invite and a part of me was crushed when he said he was coming. But now, I have no fear. Not because I have my own date in Miles, but just because of me. Who I am now. The person I’ve grown into.

I know myself better. I feel more content with who that person is and how she looks and what she wears. The decisions she makes about how she’s going to live and with whom she shares her time, energy and affection. I’ve almost completely cut out of my life everything and everyone that didn’t encourage or allow me to be the best version of myself I could be, and I don't feel any shade of guilt, shame or remorse for it either.

I am that woman now. I don’t have the same anxieties I did back then. Miles, of course, has helped with a lot of that. But I’ve also done the hard work myself. I’ve been to emotional and physical hell and back making tough decisions that I know some people won’t agree with and likely never will. But I’ve allowed myself to heal with the help and respect of the people I love. 

I have nothing to be nervous about here, or anywhere really. I know I am up for the challenges that lay ahead, and I’m ready for them.

“I admit, I thought you would be nervous,” said Miles carefully, folding his emerald suit jacket over his arm, looking more dapper than I’ve ever seen him. “I’m nervous, though I don’t want to be.”

I smiled at him, my total babe of a boyfriend, inside and out, perplexed at how he would feel he has anything to be worried about today. But I also know better than to assume he wouldn’t have at least some reservations. It’s only natural. He loves me. I thought I loved Trey. Seeing your partner’s ex-partner can be intimidating and nerve-wracking. If they were abusive or mistreated your partner in any way, I’m sure that would be maddening as well, not that that’s the case with Trey at all. He was the best boyfriend he knew how to be, but just not the one for me considering I now know what it’s like to have a Miles.

My knight in shining emerald armour, who steps back when I need to be brave, and steps alongside me on all my other journeys. Never ahead, which is what Trey often did unknowingly. He just thought he was doing the right thing. He never knew what Miles does: that I need to be the star of my own show, and call the shots in my own time, and need nothing more than a reassuring nod to know I can do this. Whatever this is.

“I know you don’t want to be,” I said, pulling him down to me with the black tie around his neck and kissing him slowly. “And I also know it will pass.” Another kiss, and I could feel him growing against the lower parts of my stomach, causing me to moan into his mouth and him to twitch with excitement. “Because you, Miles Bellamy, are a hot piece of ass I can’t wait to fuck later tonight.” A very audible groan, from Miles this time. “And because we both have the same faith in the life we’re crafting together.”

Miles used the hand not currently carrying his jacket to wrap his arm around my waist to my bare back. This glittery, open back, floor length black dress is one I’ve owned for years but never had the courage to actually wear in public. Miles walked into my unit to see me trying it on a few weeks back when I was figuring out what to wear to this wedding, and to say it didn’t remain on for longer than ten seconds would be an overestimation of how long it took him to peel it off me and get on his knees in front of me, his hands on my ass holding me firmly in place as he coaxed me into blissful oblivion, much like his hand on my back and his tongue in my mouth are doing now.