Another Door Opens

60 - It was only a matter of time, sweetheart

- EDEN -

It's unnatural how easy Miles is to talk to. Or rather, spill every single inch of my guts to with barely any prompting. Even concepts I'd not yet fully explored or feelings I hadn't consciously taken ownership of in my own head. They just came pouring from my mouth without the slightest hint of reservation. 

There wasn't a fraction of judgement in his eyes when I told him I terminated my pregnancy. He didn't flinch in shock. He didn't narrow his eyes in penetrative disgust. His voice didn't show signs of patriarchal bigotry or shaming. He didn't quiet with unease.

Just empathy. Authentic, unfeigned empathy.

"That must have been a complex decision and experience for you, Eden. And I'm imagining it’s going to be difficult for a while yet, which I'd guess isn't uncommon in these types of situations.”

Apart from Wolfe, I don't think I can say I've interacted with a man that just let my experiences be without projecting their own onto them, or assuming to know what I'm feeling.

"It must be even more difficult to process, what with Wolfe and Luna's baby...?" he persisted when I didn't say anything, again blowing my mind with his thought processes.

"It's definitely been an interesting couple of weeks," I said, pushing myself reluctantly out of his embrace and taking another sip of coffee. "Coincidentally, I found out I was pregnant the day of the baby shower."

Miles' eyebrows pinched together in thought as he journeyed back to that day in his memory. "You were so unwell that day."

"Well, now you know why," I shrugged. "I went home and drained my bladder on a shitload of pregnancy tests---that’s what I needed to rush off and buy, by the way, not anti-nausea pills, so sorry for lying to you about that---then proceeded to vomit up all those crackers and cheese we ate."

"We really did power through that box of Savoys," he chuckled briefly thinking back to that day before steering back to the main topic at hand. "Does Austin know?"

"No. I broke up with him before I even found out. You were right. I wasn't happy with how things were between us. A baby would have just complicated that a thousand times more. I imagine healthy kids need attentive parents, not ones that are fucking off and having sex with other people, or mothers being manipulated by a constant combination of suffocating love-bombing and gaslighting---terms and concepts that I suppose I have only now become aware of after having experienced both in quick succession and needing to know more of to make sense of it in my own head."

Miles couldn't even hide his satisfaction with that news. That, or he didn't care to try. I half expected him to say 'I told you so.'

He didn't. All he said was, "Good," with a subtle smile on his lips.

I laughed. Genuine laughter, though it seemed more from an exhausted hysteria than anything else. "How exactly is any of this good, Miles? My body is aching, I feel like an emotional wreck, and I have yet another failed attempt at a relationship under my belt.

"I just want to be happy, but sometimes I really just feel destined to be alone forever."

He just looked at me like I was insane. 

"'Happy' and 'Alone' aren't mutually exclusive, Eden. You can be both at the same time quite easily if it’s your choice and you’re doing all the things you love in life to make it a happy one you’re living. Having a partner along for the ride should be an added bonus, not the focus, and there are enough kids in this world messed up from simply being born into relationships that were never destined to work and living through the consequences," he said confidently, not at all concerned that he was going to cause any offence.