Another Door Opens

50 - Gaslit

- EDEN -

I haven’t found the right moment to talk break things off with Austin.

Every time I’ve said I wanted to chat about something, he’s had something he needs to run off and do, gifts me with something that I felt guilty for accepting knowing I wanted to end our relationship so couldn’t follow through with it, or he’s distracted me through sex.

That last one is what happened this evening. I had fully intended on breaking things off, but as soon as I said, “I’ve been thinking…” he interrupted me saying he had been too… thinking about wanting to fuck me, and starting sliding his hands up my skirt to play with my clitoris, and pooof! No conversation remaining in my brain.

It would help if he wasn’t as good at sex as he is. I’m finding it’s a hard thing to pass up, especially after having such a dull time sex-wise with Trey over the last, say, four years of our relationship at least. We didn’t even bother moving from my couch to my bed, and so here I am, laying around in my underwear with a guy I do sincerely care about but don’t want a relationship with any longer on my couch, laughing together at a bunch of funny videos on the internet.

"As if you haven't seen that video! Have you been living under a rock or something? It's gone viral like twenty times over by now," Austin joked, though seriously bewildered that I didn't know the video he's been talking about. Something about a yodelling child in a grocery store. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped the screen until he had found the video he was searching for on YouTube, and passed me his phone. "Here, watch this while I go piss."

"You're disgusting," I laughed, swatting his ass as he got up off the couch, pulled his t-shirt over his head and walked in the direction of my bathroom.

I pressed play on the video and was forty-three seconds in when Austin returned and lay himself down to watch alongside me, and his phone vibrated with an incoming text message and the notification flashed at the top of the screen.

Nikki: You feel like hooking up again tonight? I’ve missed you this week.

Excuse me?

What the actual fuck?

Nikki, as in his friend Nikki who I’ve met a couple times when we’ve gone to dinner together?

Why the hell is she talking to my boyfriend about hooking up?

He didn't even try to hide it and swipe the notification away before I had a chance to read it, almost as if he didn't care that I, his girlfriend for now at least, just saw a sexually charged message from another person, insinuating that this is something that has happened before, and perhaps recently. 

Girl, power to you for being so determined and forward in your proposition, but I'm not quite sure why you think this is appropriate to offer my boyfriend. She knows we’re together. 

“What was that?” I asked, pushing him away from me and sitting upright. 

“Oh, that was just Nikki,” he said dismissively, again, as if he didn’t care at all that I may have potentially just caught him out cheating. “I caught up with her last week, remember? After your birthday?”

Okay, I do vaguely remember this. I was tired, annoyed and in a rush at the time, but I swear he said she was a friend and that they were getting lunch. “I remember you saying you were going to have a meal with a friend. But what does she mean by ‘hooking up, again, tonight’?”

“Well, I mean, it means exactly that. We hook up occasionally. But she’s honestly just a friend,” Austin said nonchalantly.

I think I may be losing my mind. I think I just heard him say he has regular, no-strings sex with a friend of his every now and then.