Another Door Opens

54 - Probably too much, and nothing at all

- MILES -

I've never been to a baby shower before. 

I was under the impression that men don't usually go to them, though I'm always eager to be proven wrong when it comes to outdated and unproductive gender stereotypes.

But I'm excited to go to this one. Firstly, because it is to celebrate the life that two of my good friends have created and will bring into the world very soon; and secondly because it's a rare opportunity to hang out with Eden where we're both not sweaty messes and hitting things. Of course, I have never---nor would I ever---complain about Eden all hot and focussed and dripping in sweat that falls from her forehead to her chest and trickles down into her cleavage that I never, ever get caught staring at...

But this opportunity actually allows for conversation that doesn't involve warm ups, kicks and punches, and to see her naturally surrounded by her friends. Eden and Nella are doting on Luna at every available opportunity, making sure she is relaxed, has everything she needs, and that her every desire is taken care of within two minutes of just thinking it. 

Watching Eden around her friends isn't doing me any favours in trying not to fall any harder for an unattainable woman than I already am. The love they share for each other, and the way they interact with one another is unlike any other friendship group I've come across, even my own. They laugh and joke about everything, they sass each other constantly, and they love one another so completely.

I know Eden with Wolfe pretty well by now. The predictable bickering back and forth, and her very consistent stream of imaginative, light-hearted insults, thrown right in his face without any care for potential consequences as there isn't any because they both just want to have a good laugh. He takes them on his chin, just as she does his, and they carry on with their conversations, always so transparent and honest at all times.

Eden with Luna and Nella is somewhat different. She's more gentle in her affection than she is with Wolfe. Her verbal jabs are far less punchy, and her physical ones practically disappear altogether as her hands soften when she carefully reaches for her friends to offer them help, or just to show them how much she cares for them.

And her approach with me, I'm now finding after an afternoon spent hanging out with Eden, falls somewhere between the two. Strong but tender. Confident and bashful at the same time. When she makes a joke to me, she seems like she's holding her breath waiting to see if I'll laugh, which I always do because she's hilarious; and then stands straighter and proud, with a small smirk and pinker cheeks. She'll poke me in the ribs whenever I say something crass or inappropriate, and then her fingers linger on my body for a few seconds longer, gentle and sensual, like she doesn't want to remove them.

If I'm right, I doubt she'd ever admit it. For the obvious reason in her already having a partner, presuming they're still together after his surprise disclosure the other week. She hasn't said anything more about it to me, and I haven't asked because I know if I had to hear about them making up, I'd be unable to maintain impartiality and tell her she's making a mistake. I did notice very quickly that he wasn't here though. Not sure if that's of her or his design, because let's face it, on paper, a baby shower wouldn't usually be the first social offer I'd usually choose to spend my time; but if I were with Eden, I'd make it a priority to be here and celebrate this joyous moment in my friends' lives. 

But I'm guessing Eden also wouldn't mention anything about her lingering touches and subtle flirting with me because that would mean her having to sit in her vulnerability long enough to acknowledge she's attracted to me too, which I've seen in recent conversations isn't her strong suit. Or at least not a topic she feels as confident in as she does others. It's almost as if she now thinks feelings---more specifically romantic feelings---are a weakness, and so has hardened herself to anyone who isn't purely platonic like Wolfe and her girls.