Another Door Opens

52 - Break up sex

- EDEN -

I saw Austin last night after popping in to drop some food off for Luna and Wolfe. He finally obliged my desire to talk and came over to do so, and we did… but somehow we also ended up having sex.

I don’t know if he had come over with the intention of fucking me, but I was just hoping for a conversation, and despite not agreeing with a lot of what he said, I have to respect that when I asked for honesty he gave it to me.

“What do you want to know?” he had asked, sitting down on one of the outdoor dining chairs next to where I had already taken a seat.

“I don’t know. The truth?” I said flatly, trying my best to not get instantly annoyed that he couldn’t just guess. He’s literally left me hanging for answers for almost a week now, with practically no communication at all.

“Happy to give that to you, Eden. But about what exactly? Give me somewhere to start.”

You vague, unthinking motherfucker.

“Well, a good place to start might be explaining to me how you justified dating me and fucking others simultaneously without thinking this is something I should've known about. I'd believed we were dating exclusively this whole time, if that wasn’t clearly evident through my surprise last week when you were propositioned right before my very eyes. Also, do I need to go get tested for STIs?”

“Eden, come on. You know I would never put you at risk like that.”

“But I don't, Austin. When I thought we were exclusive, and before we axed the condoms---at your request, I might add---we both had a clean bill of sexual health. But, as I now know you’ve also been sleeping with other people, I kind of want to know if I’m likely to have chlamydia or herpes or something, and whether I need to go get some strong antibiotics.”

“You’re being so dramatic,” he said, shaking his head at me. Being now familiar with the term and meaning of gaslighting, I ain’t falling for this shit again.

“No, I’m not actually. I think I’m being very pragmatic about this whole situation and just want to know whether I’m at risk. Plain and simple.”

“Well, no. You’re not at risk of anything. You were my primary partner and the only one I wasn’t using condoms with.” Lucky me. “As I said, I wouldn’t put you at risk like that.”

That’s some consolation at the very least. I hope he doesn’t expect a ‘thank you’.

“And how many others were there?”

“Do you really want to know?” No, I really don’t. But I’m also apparently a masochist today, so I nodded my answer. “Maybe seven. I don’t really know. I wasn’t keeping count or anything.”

At least he had the good sense to look rather disconcerted as he said it.

Seven.

He’s fucked at least seven women in the three months we’ve been dating. Lord only knows how many times with each. How I didn’t pick up on this quite literally makes me ill, but I choke down the vomit that wants to surface and find myself laughing sadistically instead, thinking about how impressed I am that he was able to continue getting it up with me after banging every other woman in Bryon Bay at all available opportunities. The boy has stamina, I’ll give him that.

“You’re laughing?” he queried, looking confused.

“It’s better than crying,” I said, not that I really felt any need or desire to cry. After reflecting on my conversation with Miles at gym, I knew I had well and truly switched off from Austin emotionally. I don’t really feel anything one way or another towards him, definitely not enough to cause me to shed tears over him any longer.