try-hard •sunki au•

thirty four

“Where's Riki?” Sunghoon curiously asked as he arrived at the cafeteria right after he visited the faculty for some papers he needed.

“He's in detention,” Jay speaks casually, as if Riki in detention didn't seem weird at all.

It's been months since Riki last created a mess, why suddenly is he getting detained again?

Although Sunghoon was informed of the things that happened while he was away, it is still new to him that Riki will not be eating lunch with them. What's more new to him is the fact that Heeseung was actually on their table beside Jake.

The sight of Heeseung and Jake being carefree with each other again makes his heart flutter in happiness.

“I guess it worked,” Sunghoon commented as he smile at Jake.

“Yeah, thanks for pushing me to do it,” Jake said, linking his arms with Heeseung.

Sunghoon only widens his smile.

Jake have called him one night, crying. If Sunghoon can remember, it was after the issue with Riki. He was having doubts about coming out to his parents. He was thinking that they can accept everyone of their preferences, but it will be different if it's Jake—he's an only son, after all.

Sunghoon have told him he should not worry about it and just tell his parents to lessen the burden he was feeling. It took Sunghoon three nights of endless phone calls hearing Jake's cries before he finally convinced the latter to confess to his parents.

He told Jake that whatever the results will be, he will be there for him. Thankfully, Jake's parents accepted his confession—just as Sunghoon expected. The next day after that, Jake called him again to tell him about him and Heeseung being on good terms again.

He should be jealous.

He liked Heeseung first before Jake knew him.

Before Heeseung became famous, Sunghoon met him first, in middle school. He's friends with Heeseung first. He introduced Heeseung to them, to everyone.

He love Heeseung first.

Sunghoon remained in the shadow when Heeseung confessed to him that he liked Jake. He even became a tool for them to get close. Even after Jake rejected Heeseung, Sunghoon was there to connect them again.

Jay is the only person who knows about all those sacrifices. He even called Sunghoon a martyr after agreeing to be there for Jake and help him get through his heartbreak when Heeseung asked him too.

Sunghoon will do everything for Heeseung, even if it means he has to hurt his own feelings in the process. Just like when he has to force himself to stay beside Jake and entertain him, although all he wanted to do is be with Heeseung.

But staying beside Jake was a reason he was suddenly confuse of his own feelings. There was no doubt that he love Heeseung, but then Jake made him feel all those weird feelings he only felt with the older before.

He cared for both of them equally, but he didn't know of how he feels towards them both. Who weighs more and who is less.

Only one thing is for sure, neither Jake and Heeseung will be his.

Seeing them finally establishing their relationship back made Sunghoon happy, but he will be happier if it will be the three of them on the picture together.

The sight of Heeseung and Jake in front of him made him realize that Jay was right.

It is possible to love two person at a time, but it hurts twice for not being able to tell them both how he feels.

+++

Sunoo lower his head as he walked twice as fast as he could, hoping no one will notice him.

He hates to go outside, but he has to. His sister called and asked to meet again at the usual food shop near the university. As much as he wanted to decline, he needed money.

It has been two weeks since he last went outside the dorms.

Thanfully, every thing seems fine until he reached the shop.

He was only about to hold the door handle but it already opened. There, in front of him, stood the person he wished he will never see again.

Riki.

Before Sunoo could look down and avoid him, Riki did it first. The freshman looks away before walking past Sunoo as if he didn't see him standing there.

Sunoo felt something pinch his heart, it hurts, somehow. He had to look back and followed Riki with his gaze. There's a part of him hoping that the younger will look back at him too, but Riki only walk away without even glancing back.

tengyu_