Sans-ational adventure (Konosuba x Male reader)

Chapter 65: Shady business

 " ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Kazuma: So, before all of that happened... Uh, you know... Actually, this city will host the Goddess Eris Thanksgiving festival soon-

Cecily: I know ! Of course, I know ! Those damn Eris cultists plan to leave our Aqua-sama in the lurch with this Ridiculous Eris festival ! It's the summer season ! What do you think of in summer ? Yes, of course it's the sea, the pool and the Axis Cult. Then, what do you associate with celebration ? Of course it's the Axis cult ! We love banquets, celebrations, and summer. To leave the Axis cult aside and host the Eris festival during summer's practically provoking us. That's right, this is wr. There's no choice but war !

"... So, regretting making me bring her back yet ?"

Kazuma: Don't tempt me, please...

Cecily: Therefore, I'll divide up the roles. I'll smash the windows of the Eris church. Megumin will coolly declare herself and get rid of the angry eris cultists who'll be chasing me. You two'll sneak into the crowd and mutter "Divine retribution has befallen on those evil Eris cultists" and other such meaningful statements. Aqua-sama will just relax here and drink some wine... then, let's do this !

Kazuma: I won't let you do this. There are too many things to complain about ! You people, don't give me that look as if you really want to try it out !

"Hey, look at that ! Aqua's luck stat ! Full of every fuck I give !"

Kazuma: I didn't really meant that either. Uh... I feel like you can start hosting something like the Goddess Aqua Thanksgiving festival celebration as a resistance...

Cecily: Pleased to meet you. i'm Cecily, the manager of Axis cult's Axel branch. I have something I need to discuss-

Merchant: Please leave.

'Oh wow, what a surprise... People not wanting to deal with Axis cultists.'

Cecily: What's this ? I was being so polite. What are you dissatisfied with ? ... Ha, it seems you intent to reject me first then blackmail me later. You're going to say this, right "Hahaha. Pretty priestess of the Axis Cult, if you want me to grant your request, then show me some sincerity", and then, you'll do that to my voluptuous body... ! I won't let you heathens have your way. I'll show you the power of an Axis cultist !

Merchant: What a crazy woman ! This is why I refuse to have dealings with Axis Cultists ! Stop, wait ! Someone help !

*ZBUNK*

Kazuma: ... What was that ?

"Just me bashing my head on something hard. Hey Megumin, she's your friend, right ? Why don't you deal with her ?"

Megumin: Not a friend, just an acquaintance. Please don't misunderstand.

"And here I thought bringing two problem kids would be too much... Turns out just one's already too much. Should've left her with Aqua in the church. Kazuma..."

Kazuma: What do you want me to do ?

"There's but one thing your charisma makes you excel at. And it's business talk. If there's anyone who can wrap this up, it's you. On the meantime, you are getting back by a few feet or you'll get them up where the sun doesn't shine."