Twisted Love | James Potter

𝒳𝒳𝒳𝐼𝐼

Taking his hand, the two of us left the corridor, neither of us missing the banging sound of Bellatrix's black boots stomping back towards the other Slytherins.

Colton had tried on many occasions to spark some sort of chatter in me, yet nothing seemed to work, too many things were going on in my head for me to even consider taking part in some small talk.

I'd just lost my brother, my twin, the one who was by my side throughout the whole process of my name being burnt off the family tree, the one who always found a way to make me feel safe, the one who protected me from any harassment or bullying in our early years, the one who protected me as if I were his daughter, the one person in my family who I still saw every day.

The deeper I thought into the situation the harder it felt to breathe, almost as if my throat were closing, my heart's pattering rhythm only became harder and faster to where it was the only thing I was able to feel.

My breathing quickened as well as my steps, the walls felt as if they were closing in on me as full body chills snaked up and down my spine, I just wanted to get to the common room.

Yet the more time we spent walking the more my panic began to rise, paranoia controlling my actions as I suspiciously checked my surroundings every few seconds, even in the empty corridors it felt like everyone was judging and watching me fall apart.

The temperature began to rise in the frigid halls, the chilling sweat began forming onto my burning forehead while my hands seemed to have lost all blood flow, feeling numb and tingly as my head began spinning, a headache forming while my consciousness felt as if it were going to give out at any minute.

Something was going to happen, something bad, I didn't know how to explain it, but my mind was already fearing the unknown doom that had yet to happen, my chest began hurting as nausea began unsettling my stomach.

"Hey," Colton finally spoke up, resting his hand on my shoulder to stop my quick pace but that only made me flinch away with trembles, my heartbeat accelerating by the minute, "Hey, are you okay?" He asked worriedly, quickly removing his hand and holding them both up as if he were proving his innocence.

I couldn't even reply, the silence felt so loud that the overwhelming feeling of the panic attack forming only worsened, I just needed to be alone and hide underneath the covers.

Ignoring his question, I licked my dry lips as I clenched and unclenched my fists, hoping to create some sort of friction to heat the tingling and numb sensation, before continuing my hurried strides.

I could hear his panicked voice calling after me, yet I couldn't bring myself to turn around and meet his worried eyes, but of course it hadn't lasted long before he came running up in front of me with the exact expression I had expected.

"Del, listen to my voice, okay?"

I couldn't, he sounded as if he were miles below the water surface.

Or maybe it was that I felt as if I were miles below the water surface, drowning deeper into the black abyss with no air supply or support, nothing would be able to save me from my own mind except for myself, but how could I do that if I didn't even know how to?

I've had panic attacks in the past before, but no matter how frequent they were, nothing was able to prepare me for the next, each time they were just as worst and each time my only solution had been to wait it out.

Shaking my head since words were too hard to form, I tried to walk away but he didn't let me, why couldn't people just let me leave without worrying about being the hero?

Colton watched me with the same concern he held when he comforted the random first year in the common room this morning, he knew something was wrong, and per-usual, that only ignited more fear within me.