KISMET

ONE DAY ONE

LISA

It's been a week that Jennie left me. What have you done, Lisa? You were always complacent that Jennie is so in love with you. You did not expect this to happen, right?

You're too arrogant thinking that she will not leave you whatever happens.

I have been spending my days drinking and just crying. I asked help from my family but they said I'll let Jennie be alone at the moment. I miss her. I am so afraid that the day will come and she will tell me that we are really over. She already told me that night to file for divorce but I don't want to absorb it. 

I am not losing hope. 

But everyday is hell dealing with life without her. Rosé was right when we talked yesterday. She said you will only see a person's worth when she's gone. Jennie has always been there for me even if I took her for granted so many times. I was so stupid. I was selfish. 

My friends told me that Jennie must be so tired already. I can't blame her. In one struck after that night she left me, I got thunders and storms of realization right away. 

I regret everything I did. 

I have been drinking but I got nothing. I am so down. I don't know what to do. I want to be with her and my children. I want to talk to her but I don't know where they are. I went to their house at the province but their neighbor told me that they moved out already.

I have been texting and calling her. She read my messages but never replied back. 

I want to apologize for all my sins. I want to renew myself and be a better person. I didn't know this would be the effect of Jennie leaving me totally. 

What she said about the divorce that night has been bringing pain in my heart when I remember. It keeps flashing back in my mind.

I am just here in my room, facing the bottle of whiskey. I tried to drink but I really can't gulp it anymore. It doesn't help ease the pain in my heart. I should quit this. It just makes me feel so down more. 

I went out and drove. I don't know where to go. 

I was just surprised that here I am at Nancy's house. We talked and I ended everything between us— whatever that is.

I drove again carefully for my heart is beating strangely.

Im in front of my stepmother's house. I messaged Rosé earlier but she said she'll leave the country today for a conference in Budapest. I was supposed to be the one attending that and not her. But I couldn't lift my butt lately. I am not really in good shape physically, mentally and emotionally.

I went inside and my mother is so happy to see me. She embraced me and prepared a hot tea for me. We went to the backyard and she just let me cry. 

"I am here. I am listening. Just cry your heart out. Let me know if you feel irregularities and we'll go to the hospital right away." She said.

I bursted out all my tears and sorrow.

"What's wrong with me, mom? Please tell me honestly. Please." I am begging for her to slap me with the truth.

She took a deep breath. Moved her chair in front of me and sat while cupping my face.

"The first time I saw Jennie, I told her to stay away from you. I know you all thought that I am just concerned about you that I don't want you to like her. You are my child, even if you did not come from me, I know she's going to be part of your your interest. I wasn't wrong. Surprised to know that you two already met in Korea before she came here in London.