KISMET

DRIP AND DROP

JENNIE

She stayed beside me in the guest room last night. I just helped her change her clothes and she cried in my arms the whole time before it led her to sleep.

When I woke up this morning, I checked her whole body again to make sure that she was not harmed during the accident yesterday. I took a bath and prepared our breakfast. I made her coffee and I was surprised that she's already behind me wrapping her arms around my waist.

"I am sorry, Jen. I shouldn't have thrown at you all my anger inside." She apologized and all the pain in my heart vanished just like that.

She helped me bring our food on the table. While we eat, she told me the whole story of what happened. Our topic also brought us to talk about my pregnancy. She pulled me from my seat and made me sit on her lap facing her when she knew that we can already know the gender next month.

She said she'll be staying at home the whole day and spend time with me. I couldn't stop myself and I kissed her passionately. It lasted long and I really couldn't stop. God. I am so in love with Lisa.

We spent the day just making love, watching a film, eating everything we can and talk about the name of our baby. She wants a boy. She wants to name him Marcus. I just agreed and smiled. It's a nice name.

She told me that we must go shopping for the baby. When we're at the mall, we couldn't decide yet on what to buy. We were just pushed here by our excitement. We don't know the gender yet and I think we should wait for another month. I wanted to ask her to buy me a phone but I have this fear in me. What if she'll suddenly snap again when I ask for something that I will personally use. So, we just ended watching a film at the cinema and had dinner at a fancy restaurant.

While I was at the table, I found her talking to some women. She went to the comfort room and here she is now flirting with them. I don't know if it's right to use that term but I try to avoid thinking of possibilities that she is really cheating on me still.

Sometimes I would just blame myself for marrying a good-looking human and this is the result.

She stayed at the house the whole week. I am wondering why she's not reporting to her Dad's office yet. I want to ask her so I sat beside her while she's watching TV.

"Babe, do you want to talk about something?" I asked while rubbing her thigh.

"If it's about my job, don't worry. I am going to start working at the company next week. I just need to rest for now." She said and I am happy to know it.

But she is not happy. I suddenly saw how her eyes turned to gray.

Months passed and she still can't manage her anger well. There were still times that I just take a deep breath to help myself understand her. She doesn't talk to me like I am her wife. When in fact, I always assure her that she has a friend in me.

I started to hear regrets from her. She would just snap and tell me that she missed her single life. What did I enter? Is there an instant escape button from here, Lord? Why do I have to hear this?

Lisa is becoming so unpredictable. She was not even there for me when I had my ultrasound. She was happy to know that we're having a boy and that's what she wants, but her actions are so different from what she says.

One day, I accidentally looked at her phone and saw popping notifications from different women. And I was right, she's sleeping with random girls. I am so afraid to confront her about this because I know how she will react. I know she will just shout at me and won't talk about it.

I am checking myself too. Maybe I am lacking something that made her this way? Just because my bump is big now on my sixth month or maybe I am looking so bad because I gained a little weight? Sometimes, we could not have sex because with just small movements, I am feeling some pain in my tummy right away. But I never lack in taking care of her. I always make sure she eats well and takes her medicines on time.

I also noticed that sometimes she would just gaze at nowhere thinking so deep.

What if she really regrets marrying me?

I called my Mom. She's happy to hear my voice telling her the gender of my baby. But what made her sad was when I asked to borrow money. She said she will collect more so she can send me next week for my phone and check up.

Lisa forgets again to give me money for my pregnancy. She gets mad even if I ask for groceries. What is happening? Should I talk to her Dad and Rosé about this? Should they let Lisa fly again so she won't be this upset anymore?

I know too that the issue that came out about the accident that happened months ago still haunts her. She didn't face the truth. She blamed the engineers and mechanics responsible in maintaining the plane in good flying condition.

She's still in denial that she really has to stop flying not because she is a failure. But because she has to. It's for her health and for the passengers. Her dad keeps on explaining to her that she can't risk her life anymore and as well as their customers. But Lisa is taking it differently. She feels like being attacked when her family is just concerned.

I took a cab and got the money my Mom sent. She said that she's so sorry for she can't give me money yet for a phone. I understand her. I just prioritize my pregnancy first.

"Jennie, are you eating well?" My Doctor asked.

I just nodded.

"Looks like you're not. Are you still taking your milk and vitamins?" She knows.

There were times that I got to skip because I don't have money to buy what I need for me and my baby. Lisa is always angry. She always comes home late and leave the house so early. How can we talk?

I reached my eight month and still the same. But what made the situation worst is I am feeling some pain in my tummy most of the time.

I visited Lisa at her office and really put a hard face on. I can't stand with my pride anymore. I need money for my vitamins and milk and I am going to have another check up again. I can no longer endure the pain in my heart and in my tummy.

I twisted the knob of her office but it's locked. The janitor took the key and he opened it. But when I entered her office, I did not expect what I saw.

She is fucking her secretary on the couch.

She was surprised to see me but she continued what she's doing and did not even stop.

I went back home crying. I am losing my mind already. I walked back and forth and I don't know who to tell about this. I don't want my parents to get mad at her. I don't want her parents to know about this too.

I suddenly felt my stomach is going horrible. This is frightening me. I'm going crazy when I saw dots of blood dripping my legs and dropping on the floor.

I panicked!

I tried calling Rosé but she is out of reach. I dialed Lisa's number too through our landline but she is not picking it up. I listed down Rosé's number and brought it with me. I called for a cab. I brought myself to the hospital.

They wouldn't admit me because I don't have money for downpayment.

I asked assistance from the nurse. I am already screaming in pain. My cries can be heard all over the floor. I asked the nurse to call Rosé. And from there, I lost my consciousness.

Everything went black.