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𝕿he following morning after that lesson, I woke up extra early than everyone else, deciding I would go to the astronomy tower for a while. I needed to be alone for a while to gather my thoughts, be away from everyone else and have myself stuck in another world. I'm beyond grateful what my friends did for Remus and I, protecting us like that but the words struck me hard, no matter what I tried to think. It was as if the words were etched into my skin like my scars, they would be with me forever. I decided not to wear my uniform just yet and that I would come back for it, instead now just wearing joggers, one of James' oversized sweatshirts and my converse with fuzzy socks. I scraped my hair back into a pony tail, not really caring for my appearance, grabbing my book and tiptoeing out of the dorm.
Just like any morning I have done this at half five or six am, the corridors were completely empty, the rain pounding down on the windows as my feet tapped along the floor. Arriving, I sat down resting my back against the wall, leaning my head back on the brick, listening to the rain pound down on the grounds. It felt serene. Peaceful. When I opened my eyes again, I felt them glisten over, allowing myself to cry again as no one was around. I cried for my mum, I cried for Remus, I cried because of me. Because of who I was. The tears slid down on my cheeks, dripping down on the pages of my book.
"You know the rain is meant to allow you to feel peaceful, not upset" A voice spoke, heading on to the tower, sitting beside me, "I know how you feel"
"Do you?" I mumbled, closing my book and fiddling with my fingers.
"For different reasons of course. You wish to be someone else because you feel useless and broken inside. You would do anything to be someone else, but we are stuck. Stuck being people we don't want to be" He murmured, glancing forward at the view instead of me. That was true, I was stuck. "I heard about yesterday"
"Who from?"
"The whole school has heard, Lupin. My brother made it quite clear to everyone" He told me, "If you can call him my brother anymore" He mumbled under his breath, yet I heard him.
"He didn't want to leave you, it was the first thing he said to me" I recalled, watching his face scrunch up, in order to prevent him from crying. He was upset and angry. Angry because he left him, upset because he probably knew he had no choice, that it wasn't fair to keep him there because of himself. He didn't want to be selfish, he just wanted his brother there.
"He still left"
I swallowed thickly, nodding my head, "You can leave, Regulus. You can come with us"
"No, I can't. I'm stuck. I'm not Sirius, I can't run away from them, they'll come and find me. I'm stuck"
I sighed heavily, wiping my cheeks, "We're stuck" I repeated. I would do anything to help him get out of that house, I barely knew the boy but I did know I wanted to help him, nobody deserves to be in that house. We let silence consume us, listening to the rain again.
