Mine (HOOD) [COMPLETED]

26; Study date

"What? Well no, what I mean is yes", I look at him with shock but then he holds my hand, trying to reorganize his words, "What I mean is, of course there are successful artists out there but you have to be great at it. Like fantastic, and not every fine art student in one class will make it. Some of them are gonna struggle and live hard, and they are going to end up doing something they don't love just to pay the bills". 

I take a deep breath and thinking that he's right, he's being practical about it, I lean forward to tell him my opinion about it, "well, that's the beauty of it. Struggling of doing what you love, what you're really passionate about, it's worth it. It's undescribable to explain the worth but you're happy with the struggle and sooner or later, you'll get the recognition you deserve. Eventhough it's only from one person". 

He kisses my forehead, "You are adorable". I am in awe of what he just said, I just told him about how not having a million bucks in the bank account is not everything if you believe in your talent and you want to pursue your passion. "Did you just call me adorable?"

"Yes, cause Shay, let's be real. We're living in a tough world, where competition is all around. You are successful when you can buy yourself a home and pay the loan every month, and your soul will not be in peace if you can't pay the bills by the end of the month. I'm not saying that what you say is bogus, maybe it is true for some people but I don't think they will feel happy doing their art on the street". 

I think about if for a second, maybe what he says is true cause I have not felt the struggle so it's easy to find the beauty of it  when you're fighting what you love to do. But he's taking it to an extreme where it would scare people to do what they love, and ask them to do something that they don't love but pays the bills and got to buy a brand new car every month or so. Is that the definition of success? I'm still searching that definition cause I have yet to know what success feels like. If he is so strung about success, why is he interested with me when I'm just a Borders manager?

"You do realize that I'm a Border's manager, right?", I ask him and he nods and I ask him again, "I'm not some high position hot shot, I am abit of a struggle too. I'm trying to manage a day job, my studies and taking care of my son all on my own. Do you look down on me, Will? Give it to me straight, cause I do not want to be some charity case that you just simply stumble upon", I cross my arms and lean my back on the chair. 

He stands up and walks up behind me and wraps his hand around me, "Shay, you are definitely not a charity case. Instead of looking down on you, I admire you. You juggling everything and still be this interesting woman that caught my attention, that's a chance I do not want to waste. You don't feel sorry for yourself, you take a step forward on how to make a better life for you and your son which is so admirable. I never meant to make you feel inferior, I'm sorry".

I just sit in silence, eventhough what he said about me is true. I really want to move forward with my life, and a better one for myself and Tommy. He's just telling me based on his experience living in this world, and I have my own experiences too so I'm gonna act as an adult and don't sulk like a teenage girl.

"I'm sorry too, we are just talking based on our own experiences", I spoke up. "You don't have to apologize, our experiences and thinking of the world are different, so no wrong in learning each other's way right? Isn't that what literature is all about? Understanding the writers experiences and make it into a life lesson?". 

I laugh and stand up, to wrap my hands around his neck, "you're such a nerd". 

"Isn't that your type? The good looking nerd?", he smirks at me and rest my lips onto his and when our kiss are deepened, I can feel his hand travels under my shirt and his touch on my skin is strangely uncomfortable, so I pull away and lands my hands on his chest. "let's take it slow". 

He looks down on me with guilt, "yeah, sure. No problem, I do not want to pressure you". 

"Thank you, you're such a gentleman", I give him a peck on the lips. "It's been awhile that anyone touches me like that, so I get a little jittery". 

"I understand. I apologize", he apologize again and I smile at him to give him comfort, "it's okay, stop acting like a nerd". 

"Shall we continue on being nerds and study?", he smiles back at me and honestly, I already feel abit lazy and shrug my shoulders and purse my lips. "Can we stop and watch some tv?"

"So you do not want to study anymore? You're done for the night?", he asks me for some assurance and I slowly nod my head. "Good, me too", he takes a sigh of relief. 

We make our way to the couch and I switch on the television, I rest my head on his chest and his hands are wrapped around me and I feel somewhat nice, being cuddled for the first time after a long time. But why when he touch me, I get uncomfortable? Shouldn't I be aroused cause of not getting touched for awhile? That is what I've been telling myself when I feel the urge for Calum to touch me. Why does my heart race so fast when I look at Calum's hands and hoping it would carass my skin? Why in the world am I thinking about him? I have this gorgeous British guy beside me who adores me, Calum should be the last thing on my mind. 

"You okay, babe?", Will look down on me and break of my gaze. 

"I'm fine", I said wrapping my arms around him. This is me moving on, this is me enjoying my life and putting the past behind me. I'm putting Calum behind me, I want to unlove him. As harsh as it sounds, I want to forget that I ever loved him. 

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a/n: So what do you think of Mr.Will Pratt? ;) drop a comment, and vote and thanks for reading! :D

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