fuck buddies don't act like this (Gojo x Reader)

Chapter 59

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This chapter contains spoilers from the manga - if you don't want to risk it I suggest stop now and pick this book back up once you have read the manga or the anime has caught up with the manga - I WILL NOT BE SAYING THIS AGAIN - THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FROM HERE AND AFTER!

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It had been a while since the clothes he was wearing weren't in shambles, falling off in one area and completely burnt in the other, now these slacks are able to reach his ankles and this shirt fits him perfectly. He's rolled the cuffs back to his elbows, the heat is better than it was yesterday and worryingly enough he was sweating buckets for your arrival. Getting out of that box was more of a God send and a reawakening, everything that he knew was possible and everything he thought was impossible happened in a span of months. Being the strongest means you're always a target but being completely removed from the equation altogether allows those that hid from his sights to reveal their true colours.

His students. His friends. People who were under his protection are all gone or merely awaiting purgatory for all their amounted sins. Shibuya stole everything from him, and he knew he couldn't do the unforgivable thing a second time and he knew that they had to do it for him. It's just the unmovable shame that festers when he makes someone more influential, younger and somehow stronger than him to finish a job off that he couldn't even commit to. It's shameful, dishonourable and yet the burden he's been carrying for all these years makes taking a simple breath that much easier.

But during those timeless days spent in the box where nothing moved, changed or even his sanity broke, he could feel nothing from the outside, not the joyful laughter of his students, the heresy of the elders and you... He couldn't see you nor hear your fluttering breath, the stroke of your brush and the way your eyes would gleam when something was just right. He had thought Shibuya would be simple, he knew something was up and someone was after him, yet he could never foresee his friend's corpse being puppeteered by Kenjaku. To think his eyes would lay before Geto's flesh again was enough to distract him and plunge him into total darkness.

His nightmare became real... and you were left behind.

There was no way out, not without his friends on the outside which was quite laughable seeing even his closest friend was believed to be dead for the past several months. His students were the only believing supporters he had since he managed to piss everyone off in the Jujutsu world for just existing. He had believed once that he didn't truly need friends, family when he could just influence and bribe them onto his side. His students idolised him despite little Megumi proclaiming otherwise. Now he knows what a mistake it was flushing anything kind out of his life made him into the very person that hated him growing up.

He had always thought love was the greatest curse of them all and yet he finds himself riddled with it and now he must conjure everything in his power to get you to believe his truth. The fact that he isn't entirely a normal teacher that he's been letting on from the start nor the fact that has he ever told a non-sorcerer of the world that he lives in and strives to protect you from.

Leaning far onto the railing his palms clinging to the soft texture of his slacks that the material rises and falls from his ankles, the rattling nerves never ceases to amaze how human he feels. How normal it is to allow himself to feel everything he thought was unnecessary in a broken man's life, that was the kicker of it all. His arrogance was his defiling curse and his incessant desire to ignore what he truly wanted by greedily consuming lust like a drug. The box in a way was his only place of sanctum from his withdrawals from himself, the world and hurting you any longer. He knew during those periods of comfort and need that he was still hurting you, that he couldn't bring his stupid self to utter those simple words. How stupid he must look now finally telling you but in an act of urgency, desperation and most of all not being able to have you in his life for a second longer.