His French Rose~ Henry VIII

(34) Windsor Cottage

3rd March 1517

I sat up upon my bed and in my arms was my newborn son who I had called Thomas. I looked into his blue eyes, staring coldly into them. I wasn't sure where my mind was drifting off to, I was unable to think. my thoughts drifted to Charles Brandon, how can I live without him by my side. it had been over two years since I last saw that goodly man, I call my true love. the man whose presence could just flip a frown into a smile. the man whose touch was all I longed for and the warmth I felt as his lips met with my own, was all I desired. I was head over heels for this man and he wasn't even here anymore to appreciate and embrace it. I wasn't alright, my heart had been shattered into millions of pieces just by the thought of him. most of the pieces were left with my daughter, scattered all around him as a reminder of my deep devoting love for him. I was crazy about this man, my love grew stronger for him even though he wasn't by my side. these thoughts drained my last bit of energy as I sunk a little lower in my bed. a midwife then whipped Thomas out of my arms and handed him over to someone else.

"my little spare, Thomas" Henry cried out taking Thomas out of a midwives arms as she curtsied. henry then sat upon the end of my bed as my eyelid began to become heavy and almost impossible to keep open.

"you alright, my love," Henry asked as my ladies and midwives were clearing the area.

"I'm fine" I coldly said staring into the distance, caught in my thoughts which were drowning me alive. henry looked at Thomas and began talking to him a little before he placed him in a cot. henry then cupped my face and planted a kiss upon my cheek and I turned my attention to him. his hand grabbed my own slightly limp hand kissing it slightly.

"I love you blue," he said and I looked into his eyes, which looked just like the little pair I was staring at minutes ago.

"I love you too, your majesty," I said squeezing his hand tightly bringing a slight smile onto his face. I rarely ever saw him most days as I spent most of my time in my quarters, hiding out. hiding from what you may wonder, the pressure, the stares I had once adored and henry's needy ways. I turned my head to the side as Henry left the room, and I broke down into tears. I couldn't help it, I didn't know why I felt like this but I did. the flood of tears rolled down my cheek as I placed my head into my hands. 

"why must I suffer like this, I have everything and yet I feel so overcome with sorrow" I cried out in tears before I shut my eyes.

 30th August 1517

I sat on the grass leaning against an oak tree in henry's cottage on site of Windsor castle. I had been there for almost a week, just to get away from the busy court life. I had been reading but I had slowly lowered the book my attention drifting towards the blue skies then I admired the rest scenery. I was stuck in my overload of thoughts, so nothing new there. this was supposed to be a place for me to relax and clear my head, but it wasn't working. these past two years all I can ever think about is Edmund, how much I wish he was here, by my side. his touch was all I needed to feel comfortable and his voice was so soothing to my ears. I then felt a pair of arms wrap around my own, which made me smile. I opened my eyes and turned my head to see Edmund Howard. my mouth dropped as I spun away from him and scanned his face. he wore a huge smile that appeared on my face. I then stumbled up and gripped him into a rough hug,

"I've missed you so much, you wouldn't believe it" he cried out savouring his unique scent. he melted into my arm but I let go of him pushing me back slightly.

"I can't go a day without thinking about you," he said and I shook my head more as the words flowed out of his mouth, warming my heart. His lips then brushed past my own and I immediately pushed him off me.