His French Rose~ Henry VIII

(32) The letter Of Tears

21st July 1515

I sat at my desk rummaging around for a new quill. I lifted a pile of papers and a single letter floated to the ground. It was Louis's letter, I had forgotten all about it but I don't know how I did. I looked at it sat on the floor, I didn't want to open it but I had to, no matter how daunting it felt. I turned back to look at it, it was glowing at me making me stretch my hands out. I crouched down on the floor, In the end, I only managed to caress the seal with my finger. then there was a knock at my door and it flew open as I fell scrambling down to the floor.

"I didn't mean to startle you, your majesty," I heard as he entered the room.

"don't worry lord Boleyn, I was already on the floor," I said as he took my hand and helped me up. he picked up my letter off the floor as I watched him closely.

"did you drop this, your grace," he asked and I nodded as I snatched it out of his hand. I slumped onto my bed holding the letter in front of me staring at it deeply. Thomas Boleyn walked behind me, looking over my shoulder at the sealed letter.

"it was from king Louis xii of France, he left it for me in his will," I said knowing Thomas Boleyn was curious. it was itching me to open it but something once again was holding me back and I wasn't sure why. I held the tiny little wooden box which had a crown and rose and vines engraved in it. I ran my finger over the closed seal of the letter once more looking up at Thomas who was walking out.

"Thomas what was it you needed," I asked before he left,

"I was asked to check up on you, the king requested I do so," Thomas said and I nodded.

"well I'm fine" I cried out flinging the letter back down onto my bed giving Boleyn my full attention.

" Well good day to you, your grace," he said before leaving

"goodbye lord Boleyn" I cried before I turned my attention to the letter. I looked down at it and ripped it open, without hesitation drawing out the folded piece of parchment.

hello, charlotte,

If you are reading this I have died. Don't mourn my death, it is not worth any of your precious tears.

the first time I lay eyes on you, you were merely 4 years of age. your eyes were the same colour as they are now a glistering greyish blue colour, filled with joy and excitement. you wore a vibrant red dress, you and your father wore the same colours all the time and everyone found it so sweet. you clung to him no matter what and we all knew you were attached to him instantly, he was your role model. when he tragically died when you were only 7 years of age it broke you, I could tell. It seemed as if the world had ended for you and I didn't want it to hurt you as much as it did. I hope that my support during that time was seen by you and appreciated.

you are very intelligent for a lady, and you made me proud. in basic academics such as poetry, reading, spelling, arithmetic and music. but you impressed me when you learnt theology, history and many languages. you learnt how to read Latin, you also learnt how to speak read ad write in English, Spanish, Italian Hebrew and greek which shocked us. I was much more than proud of how enthusiastic you were to learn. you may have not been the most ladylike, elegant figure but I saw past that. I saw your inner beauty, which was finer than any french rose, I've seen with my own eyes. you always wore a smile that could light up a room and my own aged heart. to me, you were a sight that was worth seeing even in my own elderly eyes, which can see past your few tiny flaws. just the sight of you brought back my youth and every little thing you did. as you use to say ' the little things you do in life sometimes mean more than the big ones'. that always stayed close to my heart and I always knew that's how id treat my next wife, whoever she was. I'd treat her like I treated you, with care, love, admiration, support and wisdom. I had thought who I wanted my third wife to be, and it wasn't at first mary Tudor. someone a little older than her, but still brought me that pure youth glow, I had left behind years ago. She was everything I need in a wife but she married another before I asked. You are probably wondering who is this youth bright spirited mistress I speak of. Before I tell you who she is I have an important question I wish I asked year's ago.

Charlotte Valois of Angouleme, will you make this old man feel like his old youthful self and be happy once more in his life and marry me?

I wanted to ask you this when you returned from England but you were already engaged. I was devastated by the news but I was proud of you. Henry did ask me if he may marry you I disagreed but he went against my wishes. well, that's not entirely true, I soon gave in I couldn't take you away from your new lover. The new light of your life, The man who took you out of my warm loving arms. I regret not asking you sooner, I regret letting you go to England and was left to wonder what if. I wish you were in my arms once more, loving me and only me. Just your presence was enough to make me feel all giddy, playful and lively once more.

Seeing you after 5 years walking into the throne room was everything to me. Once I saw you all grown up, so mature and regal, you have become. I realised how old I had become and how much you had grown up out of my sight. Your smile still lights up a room and my heart as much as it used to years ago. once I saw you by Edmund Howard's side I could tell you were inseparable. I knew you had found true love in him, just by the way you looked at each other. the way you spoke to him, looked at him and walked with him said it all. what I saw was true love in front of my eyes, but it must have felt like forbidden love.

I dreaded getting married to Mary Tudor while you were in the room. It was one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever done, just your eyes looking in my direction made me feel uneasy. I knew then I didn't have long left and I was surprised I hadn't just dropped right then and there of heartbreak. I longed for your touch instead of hers but I loved her, for you and only you. I knew we couldn't be and you had grown up and found your new love. I was merely an old amour, just a little short-lived excitement. you did make me happy and feel like I was my old self once more and I thank you dearly.

Fredrick is my little gift sent from God, an absolute joy, kind of like you are and your daughter Isabella Brandon. I need you to take care of him like he is your child. Take him to England when he is a little older and love him like he is your own. Love him like how I loved you so dearly, don't let him out of your sight my love. terrible things can happen to him in France and I believe England, will be best for him. growing by the person I love and care so dearly for, please my love.

Live your life and try not to dwell on what if, it leads you no were. Be careful my dearest one with Charles Brandon, if you get caught by your husband you will surely be arrested and you may even be hung. you still love him, I can tell just by the way you look at each other. you loved him so dearly only five years ago but know those feelings of passion are hidden, bottled up in your gigantic heart of gold. I am not going to tell you to stop as it is not possible but be aware if you decide to rekindle your love in secret. be careful with all families at court, they are thirsty for power and will do anything to get it. trust those away from court more than the ones in court as they desire something much more powerful than love but trust and uttermost devotion. what your back, you may gain enemies at any time, you may even have some now without you know. remember all I have taught you and let I would live and linger by yours to provide you with strength.

you have made my later years of life worth living, charlotte. I love you, more than you probably love me and remember that till your dying days, that I love you and only you.

Louis xii, your father figure and first true lover

Tears began flooding my eyes, I was overwhelmed with so many emotions but the strongest was sadness and longingness. I then gripped hold of the wooden box and shakily opened it. there sat upon a blue velvet cushion was a single ring. a Gimmel ring which had symbiosis in graved in the inside and the heavenly massive jewels. I slipped the ring upon my finger without hesitation and kissed it as I deeply admired it and my mind swirled with memories. the happy, passionate, love-filled moments with Louis and the uttermost joy I brought the old man.