Three days of you

84. Chase

As he held her, he felt her body returning to normal. She was breathing evenly again and she wasn't so tense. He still didn't know what the hell happened up there. He was hoping that she would start talking soon. He didn't want to push. Whatever it was had her pretty shaken up.

It was hard for him to see her this way and not being able to do anything to ease her suffering. It was like being caught in a hard place. On one hand he wanted to be patient. But on the other hand, he wished she would just tell him what's wrong.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked her.

She took a minute to answer, "yes, we should go."

"Ok babe."

They pulled apart and started walking towards the subway. She was silent and he didn't know what to say. What could he say? Should be start the conversation or wait for her?

"Are you hungry?" he prompted.

He figured this was a neutral question and a good opener line. This should break her silence.

"Probably," she answered, sounding far away in her thoughts.

"Do you want to stop and get something before we take the train?"

"No, I won't be able to hold it down," she said softly.

Hold it down? Was she feeling sick? Or was she breaking up with him? Was she trying to break it to him easily?

So many unpleasant thoughts were swimming around his head and none of them were making him feel any better. This wasn't good.

They came to a small park and she said, "let's sit for a minute."

It was dark and cold, but there were a few people in the park. Some were walking their dogs, others jogging, some just sitting holding cups of streaming beverages.

He followed her to a park bench and she sat down with a sigh. He sat with her and waited.

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"Just tell me what it is love."

He was on the edge of his seat, literally, as he waited for an explanation. She was acting so unlike herself. Well, unlike the self that he'd come to know.

"I'm trying."

She glanced at him and then lowered her eyes. She closed then for a bit as if pushing back unpleasant images.

Finally she spoke.

"The apartment is designed the same as the last one I shared with someone."

He was hearing her, but he wasn't understanding what she was saying. So it was similar, lots of places are similar. The bathroom tiles in his office were the same as those in his college dorm. That didn't cause him to panic upon seeing them.

He reached for her hand and she let him take it. That was a good sign. He intertwined her cold fingers with his. She raised her head to meet his eyes.

"It's the same, when I was inside..."

She stopped.

"When I was inside, it was like I could see it happening all over again."

"What happened exactly?"

"Chase...this is so hard for me...I don't think I've ever said this out loud."

"Only if you want to," he said encouragingly.

"I've never been so afraid as that night when he..."

She gasped a huge lungful of air, then continued.