Not Seen in the Next Life ✔️

Chapter 88

    "The difference is that in this life you saved him from that catastrophe in time, let him avoid the fatal injury, and live happily and honestly to the present." Song Yan said here, and paused. "Every time I think about it, I am very grateful to you."

    Xia Lin said lightly: "I didn't do this to get your gratitude."

    "I know," Song Yan's eyes softened, "Because you are born. A kind heart, even if I lost you because of Yu Luotong in the last life, you can still help him in times of crisis. This kind of mindfulness makes me both admire and ashamed."

    Xia Lin is not used to being praised face to face like this, subconsciously moved. She licked her lips and wanted to refute, but didn't know what to refute.

    Song Yan continued: "I always thought that I loved Luo Tong, but I didn't understand until this life. It turned out that it was not love, but compassion and responsibility. Because Luo Tong needed me, I decided to protect him. For the rest of my life, because he is extremely insecure and suffers from gains and losses throughout the day, I must pay attention to him every moment, lest I accidentally touch his sadness and make him think that he has been abandoned again."

    Xia Lin sneered. "You lied. If you didn't really love him, how could you find death several times after learning about his death? If it weren't for me to stop him repeatedly, you would have gone down to see King     Yan ." "Yes," Song Yan sighed. He said, "I thought Luo Tong was dead at the time, and I really didn't want to live. On the one hand, it was because of resentment that my family forced Luo Tong to death, and on the other hand, it was also because. I had sworn to Luo Tong. During the darkest period of Luo Tong’s life, in order to encourage him to live, I swear to him that if he dies, I will not live alone. Even in the underworld, I will accompany him, no He would be alone and alone. However, in the end, I still failed to fulfill my promise to him. He died, but I lived in this world and later even stayed with you. This was a double betrayal to him. On my side Indulging in your tenderness, while constantly blaming myself, I also want to be nice to you, but I dare not be too nice to you. I often wake up when I dream back at midnight, I always dream of Luo Tongman Her face was bloody accusing me, saying that I had betrayed him and trampled on my oath."

    Xia Lin remembered that during the years when he and Song Yan were together in the previous life, Song Yan really slept very unsteadily at night. He often fell asleep and suddenly sat up in shock, calling Luo Tong's name in his mouth. At that time, he only thought that Song Yan couldn't let Luo Tong go, but he didn't expect him to have nightmares because of his inner self-blame.

    Song Yan continued: "Later, I accidentally met Luo Tong and realized that he was not dead at all. At that time, I was really mixed with different tastes. I hated your deception and Luo Tong's determination, but I hate me even more. I was so foolishly kept in the dark for so many years, and I was suffering for so many years. At that time, I was really out of anger and completely lost my mind. I had no one to vent, so I vented all my anger. On you. But I didn’t know that you were terminally ill at that time. I didn’t even think about it. On the day I drove you away, I already regretted it.

    "But I’m still deceiving myself. I told myself that I was only for a while. I'm not used to your leaving. I also met with Luo Tong that night. I thought, as long as Luo Tong and I are reconciled as before, there won't be such a heavy sense of loss. But that night, after I met Luo Tong's boyfriend, I realized that Luo Tong and I were already over.

    "He has a new man by his side. The man's parents are very open-minded and will not stop them from falling in love by any means. That man can put him on a wedding ring in a fair manner, instead of just verbal promises like me. Luo Tong doesn’t need me anymore. For so many years, my ex-Ao and self-blame have been nothing. From beginning to end, I was only acting a one-man show. At that time, I was very anxious to come back to you, only By your side, I feel where I belong. But God still doesn’t let me go. When I just recognized my heart, I was about to lose you. During the time you fell into a coma before you died, I have been Holding your hand, I remembered a lot about the two of us. I don’t know when you liked me, but I clearly remember that when I wanted to die with Luo Tong, it was you who held me tight. Hugging me, crying and saying to me, if I die, you don’t know how to live.     "That was the first time I knew your feelings for me clearly. I was surprised, but more moved. , It turns out that there is still such a person who has been guarding me silently like this. So I finally gave up suicide, not because of anything else, just because. I don't want to see you cry so sad and desperate.

    "At that time, I quickly accepted you. I once thought it was because of emptiness and loneliness, but I didn’t understand until you passed away. In fact, my friendship for you has taken root since we first met. If Luo Tong did not appear, maybe we will slowly attract each other, we will talk to each other, and stay together for a long time. But Luo Tong appeared too early and too suddenly, before I can see my heart clearly, I still don’t know anything. When it was love, I had promised him a lifetime.

    Xia Lin silently wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes in the dark, and he forced himself to remain calm and awake.

    He said in a slightly choked voice: "Past life and this life, To love or not to love, you only rely on your mouth and tongue, how can you prove...

    "I can prove it."

    "What?"

    "Rebirth is the proof." Song Yan said slowly, "You always say I chose you next to Yu Luotong because I didn’t love me. In fact, this is not the case. In this life, Luotong has always grown up safely and happily. I have the same interests as him, but I have always maintained a simple friendship. , Because of this life, I am no longer his salvation, and he is no longer my responsibility.

    When I saw Luo Tong and his boyfriend David again, I was really relieved, no matter what the previous life Still in this life, I no longer owe him anything. I can finally let go with peace of mind and no longer have to endure the torment of betrayal and self-blame.

    Song Yan said this, turned his head, and stared at Xia Lin silently in the darkness. "You know, Xia Lin, I was alienated again and again by you in my senior year of high school. I was angry, wronged, pleaded, and desperate. All the emotions were just because I liked you. It wasn't until all the memories of the previous life came back that I could really see my heart clearly. It turned out that I had hidden you deeply in my heart long, long ago. "