Just a Roommate (H.S)

Chapter 51

One more class.

One more class before I get an entire week off. One more class before I can finally focus on my living situation, packing all my stuff from Harry's, and finding a place to stay for the spring semester.

I've called almost every apartment in the Manhattan area that was in my price budget and every single one is already leased. Tomorrow I am going to call the university residential department and see if there are any dorm openings. It will suck transitioning from a spacey apartment to a tiny dormitory, but what else can I do?

I don't want to keep being a bother to Zayn and Niall. Zayn already told me I can stay there forever if I wanted too, but I feel too bad to do that. I hate taking advantage of others kindness. Staying at Zayn's is my very last resort— right after calling my mother.

I have been wanting to call her every day since everything happened, but I cannot find the courage to do so.

I can already hear her voice. Telling me how she was right and I was wrong. That I was a fool for ever even considering involving myself with Harry. That I chose some boy I barely knew over my own mother. I don't even know if she'll let me come back home after embarrassing her like that. Knowing her, she probably won't.

I cannot help but to understand now that she was right. Harry did break me. He lied to me. He manipulated me. And now it seems that he has already replaced me.

I was only a toy to him. A little prude that he wanted to deflower. Another girl he wanted to mark.

And I just let him do it.

I feel disgusted and so damn disappointed in myself for ever believing that what Harry and I had was something more. That he actually had feelings for me. That I was different than all the other girls he tricked. . .

Out of the thousands of boys here, I decide to fall in love with the womanizer who sells fucking drugs and guns in his meantime.

I should have switched apartments when my mother told me to. Who knows where I would be now. A leader in a campus organization, tutoring kids, doing even better with classwork... but no. I just had to stay and get myself tied up with my asshole of a roommate.

I shake my head, tired of thinking about him. This is all I have been able to think about the past week. How much regret I had involving myself with him. And seeing him with another girl Wednesday only made things worse for me. I could barely focus on anything else. I don't know how I did for my biology quiz earlier this morning. Niall was even more confident than I was and I am the one that helped him study.

And now I am scared that without the distraction of school, Harry will be all I think about. It's like a stupid obsession. I hate it. I hate that I can't just forget him. Or move across the country and never think about him again.

This. This is exactly why I told myself no dating during college.

I gather myself when I approach the door to literature. Harry didn't come to calculus, but I still want to prepare myself just in case I have to see him again. I feel my stomach churn when I grab the handle and whip the door open.

The classroom is mostly full and to my gratitude, both Harry and Bri's seats are empty.

With a breath of relief, I stride over to my seat and sit down. I unzip my backpack and take out my planner, the novel we finished today, and a hard copy of my essay. Of Mice and Men was the novel we have been focusing on. Odd choice for a college literature class, but I didn't mind. It's a good read no matter how many times I read it or what age I am when I do so.