Chapter 4:You what?

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Izuku POV:

I rest my hand on my front door. Silently urging myself just to open it. I've done this every morning for the past week. Lately I've spent a lot of time trying to leave my apartment to go across the hall to Katsuki's apartment. I can't seem to think of a way to say what I want to. I've tried to write it down. I managed to write and rewrite about a thousand drafts. None of them  were really good enough though. I don't know why of all things saying "I love you" is suddenly the hardest thing ever. We've been friends  since we were little kids. We get along a lot better now than we did. 

"It can't be that hard. Just say it. Three words. Damn it. Four. Use his name."I say to myself. 

My phone goes off. I turn around and lean against my door. I slide down it until I'm sitting on the ground. Then I check my phone. 

Texts Start Here:

Katsuki:Are you seriously still in there? Should I call the cops to come make sure you're alive? Answer your damn phone dumbass. 

Texts End Here

I just ignore the message. I stare at the wall for a minute. 

"Ugh. He's gonna fucking explode if I don't say something. I couldn't even look him in the eye right now."I say quietly.

Someone loudly knocks on my door. 

"Open the damn door before I break it."I hear Katsuki say with a hint of fear in his voice. 

"I'm fine Katsuki."

"No you're not. Open the fucking door."

"Fine."

I get up and open the door. Katsuki's standing there looking pissed as hell. 

"The fuck is wrong with you?"He asks. 

"Nothing."

"Uh huh. You haven't come out in a week, you're not answering your phone at all, you look like you've been to hell and back a thousand times, you clearly haven't slept at all. What is wrong with you? Seriously. You're never like this."

"Don't worry about it."

"Stop. I'm not fucking around. If you don't just say it or at least give one good reason for this bullshittery then there's more violent ways I can get it out of you."

"There's just a lot on my mind okay? Why does it matter so much?"

"Because you're not okay. There's paper everywhere. What have you been doing?"

"Taking notes. Trying to process shit."

"Let me see one."

"No."

"I'm not asking."

"Kacchan please just go."

"No."

He grabs one of the pages off the floor. I try to grab it from him. He steps out of my reach and starts reading what I wrote. 

"Kacchan wait-"I say. 

"You're in love with me?"

"I- Yeah."

"You couldn't just say that?"

"No i couldn't. You make me nervous alright? So saying it's not that easy."

"You're such a fucking dork. Just say it next time."

"What do you mean next time? You already know."

"Think about it."

"You- You feel the same?"

"Why else would I blow up your phone making sure you're alive, spend so much of my time on the phone with you, or texting you, or hanging out with you, find any reason I can get to be close to you? I thought it was pretty fucking obvious."

"Damn. Guess I really am oblivious. Sorry."

"For what?"

"Not realizing it."

"Don't apologize. You wouldn't know someone wanted to be with you if it hit you in the face. It's nothing new. I'm used to it by now."

"Okay."

"But before we do anything about this I'm gonna help you clean up. Then we're gonna order food and talk about this. Because this is not healthy at all."

"You'd do that?"

"Yes dumbass. Did you not hear the part where I said I loved you? Now help me clean these papers up."

"Okay."

We slowly clean up the large mess of papers scattered around my apartment. When we're done he orders us food. Then we sit on my couch facing each other. 

"What now?"I ask. 

"Not sure. But I have some questions."

"Alright."

"How long have you been trying to tell me this?"

"Since we were at UA really. But more so recently."

"How many of those letters did you write?"

"3572..."

"Holy shit. Why?"

"I didn't know how to say it. But every one of them just wasn't right. Didn't explain it enough. Didn't use the right words. Didn't come out right. Wasn't enough. Wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. Wasn't-"

He kisses me to get me to stop talking. I'm surprised at first then lean into it eventually. When he pulls away my face is bright red. 

"That was a nicer way than usual to tell me to shut up. Tasted better too."I say. 

"I wish I did it that way. Fucking hell."

I smile softly. 

"What does this mean?"He asks. 

"That's up to you. I mean obviously I want it to mean we can be together. But I don't want to force it or anything."

"Of course I want it to mean that. Otherwise I wouldn't have even responded when I read that letter."

"Y-you do?"

"Yes."

"I- I don't know what to say..."

"Start with yes."

"Fuck yes."

He smiles. I kiss him a few more times. 

"Took you long enough."He jokes. 

"Worth the wait."

"Hell yeah."

I smile. He gets in my lap. I wrap my arms around him.

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