Ain't No Sunshine

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Anna was not looking forward to the day. It was 9:30 am and she was on her way to her first doctor's appointment. She had held it off long enough and her once flat stomach had a little pouch to it. She couldn't help but worry that something was wrong with the baby. She had been throwing back wine like her name was Olivia Pope before she got sick and now because of her sturdy grip on denial it was the third week of June. "Bean, Mommy's sorry." She said in the car and smiled. She found herself talking to her tiny bump from time to time to make the steady drip of loneliness cease a bit. She parked her car once she finally got to the medical district and sighed. Her appointment was at 10:15, but they asked she get there fifteen minutes early to fill out new patient forms.

She walked into the large building and looked over the board showcasing the doctors and their suites. "109," Anna smiled. "That's easy. No steps or elevator, Bean." She turned to look for the suite when her eyes widened. "Anna." Ethan looked just as handsome as ever and it was almost too much for her. He walked up to her and the lack of distance was doing something to both of them.

She looked beautiful. Her long black hair was left to flow around her. She wore a maxi dress the color of the sun that made him want to lick her dark skin. His eye finally met hers after ravishing her and the pain so blunt and honest were enough to make him take a step back. "What are you doing here?" He asked knowing he had no right to know. "Doctor's appointment." He looked her over as if to access what the issue was. "I guess you really have been sick." She quirked an eyebrow before shaking her head. "What are you here for?"

She saw the uneasy expression fly across his face. "Therapy." The look of surprise gave way to happiness and Ethan wanted to kiss her. He clamped his hand down in a fist to stop himself from reaching over and pulling her into his embrace. "That's great, Ethan. I hope it works out for you." He smiled slightly at her, while cataloging the features of her beautiful face.

Anna cleared her throat after a while of awkward silence. "Um...right...I better be going." He waved awkwardly before turning to exit. Anna was thankful because she really didn't need him knowing the type of doctor she was actually going to see. Tasha told her to tell him the day she found out she was pregnant, but she couldn't. She didn't have it in her to face him let alone tell him some earth-shattering news like this.

Anna finally sat in the room in a hospital gown waiting to meet with Dr. Rhodes. She was a wonderful Black doctor with recommendations that went on for days. Anna knew the risks Black women faced while pregnant and during labor and wanted to do everything she could to ensure her baby was safe and healthy. "Hello, Ms. Anderson." Dr. Rhodes smiled at her. "Hi, Doc. How's it going?" They chatted some before Dr. Rhodes moved a machine close to her. "Let's take a look at your baby."

Anna didn't know she was holding her breath until she heard the strong pitter patter of a heartbeat. "Wow, that's loud." Dr. Rhodes nodded. "And strong. Looking at the measurements it seems your 3 months pregnant meaning he or she was conceived in March. That puts your due date in December." Anna couldn't help but sadly chuckle at the irony. "Everything looks good. I'm going to prescribe some prenatal medicine and have you schedule your next appointment up front."

The machine whirled before a black and white photo printed out. Anna stared at the blob that was her Bean and smiled. She got dressed quickly and made her six-month appointment for September. She stopped by Walgreens on the way home to get her medicine before heading straight for bed. It was still early in the day, but she needed a nap to calm her mind.

Bean was a nice distraction for the most part, but she or he was still a part of Ethan and she knew deep down he deserved to know. Juneteenth was that weekend and for the first time ever she was skipping it. She didn't want to deal with her family and revealing that she and Ethan were no longer together. She would stay in and wallow before getting her mind right to go back into work on Monday.

Ethan couldn't get her out of his mind. She looked amazing, but he saw the hurt in her eyes. He had put it there and for what. Therapy was unlike anything he imagined. He expected an old, White man who asked him to lie down and tell him about his childhood. What he got was the polar opposite. Dr. Cassandra Joy was a lively Black woman with a colorful wardrobe and an even colorful mouth.

She got straight to the point the moment he sat down. They addressed Ezra for a bit, but mostly time was spent on him and his beliefs about himself. She gave him some techniques to work on. Said he needed to train his mind, whatever that meant. He was okay with all of it until he saw her. Bumping into Anna was a sign that he had to take this seriously. He had to get on track.

He doubted he would ever have her in his arms again, but he wanted her to at least see that he was trying to find himself and be true to whoever that was. Aiden had texted him later that day asking why they weren't coming over for Juneteenth. Ethan assumed she would have told everyone they were over out of pure anger, but she hadn't.

He reiterated to Aiden that Anna still didn't feel well, which was true. He thought about maybe going to see her tomorrow. Maybe take over some soup or something. He still had a key after all. He smiled at his plan and decided to get some work done for the remainder of the day to speed it along.

It was 6 pm and Anna stood in her doorway second guessing her decision. Jamal had text her about a Jazz concert in the park to celebrate Juneteenth and she agreed to it. She was getting tired of her four walls and Garth was practically kicking her out the house. "I'm really glad you agreed to come with," Jamal smiled as he watched her lock her door.

"Thanks for the invite. I'm feeling better today, so this should be good." He motioned her towards his car and opened the passenger door for her before getting in the driver's side and driving off. Neither one noticed Ethan a few houses down watching the whole thing. He felt a lot of emotions at once, but the most prominent was anger towards himself. He had driven her to another man's arms.

He waited until they were out of sight before going to her house and opening the door. He put the soup in her fridge and smiled as Garth meowed at him while rubbing himself across his legs. "Daddy misses you too, buddy." He played with him for a few moments before locking up and leaving. Ethan drove to Lars' home in need of some guidance. He watched as Tasha walked to the door in one of Lars' shirts and sighed. They hadn't talked since he broke things off with Anna. The hatred spewing from Tasha's eyes was palpable. "Can I talk to you and Lars, please?" Tasha scoffed as she walked back into the house leaving the door open for him to come in.

"Hey, man," Lars said coming out in some joggers. "What's up?" Lars pulled Tasha close and nuzzled her neck. To an onlooker it would seem sweet and romantic, but he was doing it to stop her from lashing out at Ethan physically. "I saw Anna with Jamal an hour ago. I think they were going out on a date." Tasha looked at him as if he were stupid. "And?"

Ethan rubbed the back of his head and sighed. "Tasha, I know I messed up. Royally. I just want her to know that I'm doing the work to be better." Tasha shook her head and moved out of Lars grasp. "She doesn't give a fuck about the work you're doing. Where was this work when you were together and she asked you to get help? Where was this work when you were dicking down your ex? You broke her heart, asshole. You stabbed her with every insecurity she already had. There's no coming back from that." Tasha took in his forlorn expression and posture and sucked her teeth before leaving them.

"She's right." Ethan said sitting down on the sofa. "She's not, because she's not Anna. Unless you hear a for sure no from Anna's lips you can't give up hope. You should however be focusing on getting yourself together, E. I believe you and Anna are the real deal. Who cares if she goes out on a date with Jamal? He's not the one for her you are. In due time you'll show her the man you are. The man Ezra admired. The man that is my best friend and the love of her life."

Ethan smiled at his best friend and nodded. Lars invited him to stay for dinner, but he knew Tasha would hole up in his bedroom with him around. He decided to go to his parents and spend some time with them. He knew they might ask about Anna and if so, he'd tell them the truth.

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