Playing With Fire

69

Jamie let him go reluctantly. Something in him made her want to hold on, never let go. Even the kisses seemed to be like it was the last. She sighed and closed the door. But she couldn't stay sad like that, she had little Rose with her.

 

"You want me to braid your hair?" Jamie asked her.

 

"Yes!" Rose cheered but then frowned a bit "Daddy always did a ponytail."

 

"Hey. Daddy did his best, okay." she said to Rose. She nodded.

 

"Now sit still." Jamie said and started brushing her hair.

 

Soon they were walking towards the day care, holding hands, Rose telling her all kind of things. It was like a flood of information, coming on her so fast. She nodded and chuckled to her. In the day care, everyone greeted her, including Sarah. She stood at the window for some time, looking at her daughter playing with her friends. After some time, she went back home. She stood leaning her back against the door, looking around. There was signs of hectic morning, toys and books here and there, pile of dirty laundry next to the door. Seemed like a usual cosy home. She sighed and hanged the key on the hook, next to the door.

 

She took off her boots, placing them neatly next to Eric's and walked to the kitchen. She gazed over the table, went to the kitchen, going through cabinets and drawers, trying to remember where things were. She took her coffee mug and went to discover the bookshelf, impressed by the variety of them. She went through the kids rooms, eyeing the little details on their selves, taking it all in. Now that none of the kids were there, she could do that without having to explain herself.

 

She then went to their bedroom and looked through drawers, smelling clothes, looking at what she used to wear, nodding in agreement. She dared to go through his drawers, smelling his clothes, so fresh but still having his scent on it. She changed clothes and went to wash her face, looking through things in the bathroom while brushing her teeth. She took his deodorant stick and sniffed it, the memory of his body scent hitting her hard. She felt the butterflies flutter and her fingertips tingling. She sighed and put it down.

 

Looking over the bathroom it seemed that everything was just as she had placed them, but still she felt like raiding someone else's home.

 

She decided to clean up messy clothes near the front door, washed the dishes and tidied up the place. In hopes of her remembering anything, how annoying is to clean, for example. She rolled her eyes and chuckled. After that she took her bag with her belongings from the Infirmary and unpacked it. She remembered that he had told her about a box where she had kept the diaries. She kneeled in front of the bed and looked under it, finding what she was looking for. She admired it before opening it and when she did, she gasped, eyeing all the tiny object she had kept over the years. Some of them made her see flashback, some of them feel something, some made her tear up. She saw some photos of her from the Initiation days. Photo of her parents. Ultrasound pictures. She decided to place the diaries on the floor, in chronological order and placed the objects around them, forming a timeline of her life.

 

Suddenly she heard the front door open, startling her. She grabbed her gun and moved quickly next to the door, her back against the wall, holding her gun ready.

 

"Baby, are you home?" he hollered, making her breathe out in relief. She lowered the gun, panting. The door opened and he saw her throwing her gun on the bed. She turned around quickly "Hey!"

 

"Um... Hey?" he looked at her, confused "What did you do with the gun?"

 

"I uh.." she was confused, looking around her , pointing on her work "I was doing this and lost a track of time." She shook her head to the thought that someone would even try to break in.

 

"You thought that someone broke in?" he murmured, looking her worried. When she didn't answer he said "I heard you cock the gun." She sighed, nodding, covering her eyes "This is stupid..." He came to her, bit surprised and said "It's not." and looked at her even more surprised, realizing she remembered how to use her gun "You knew what to do with it?" She looked at her gun, realizing the same thing, in awe "It was like I wasn't thinking, I just knew..."

 

"I told you." he said glad, hugging her. He looked at the ground and pulled away, curious about the set up on the floor "What's this?"

 

"Oh, uh... I found the treasure box." she chuckled and explained "It's a timeline." pointing on the photographs and object around the first diary "This is the beginning. Initiation. Becoming a leader. First pregnancy. Wedding. And so on."

 

"Impressive." he said raising his brows and added "You can talk more about it over lunch. Come on." They walked to the Cafeteria hand in hand, Jamie talking about it and pointing out some memories she had remembered on the way there.

   

When she noticed that they suddenly changed course, like avoiding something, she asked "What's there?" He contemplated telling her but she already did "Is it the Pit?" He nodded in regret.

 

"Why don't we go through there?" she was curious and sighed "Eric, I know what happened to me there."

 

"Of course you do." he said letting out a sigh.

 

"I wanna see." she said serious, pulling him by his hand.

 

"Haven't you experienced enough?" he asked pulling her against him and took a hold of her jawline.

 

"I know you want to protect me, but..." she kissed him "...maybe I need to remember all of it."

 

"Better all with the awful than nothing at all?" he asked following her reluctantly.

 

"Something like that." she said glancing him over her shoulder.