Playing With Fire

46

"You're surprised..." he looked at her.

"Yes." she said rubbing her wrist and added "But then again..."

"You've made so much progress.." he said and hesitated before adding "We have."

"Yeah." she rolled her eyes. She had been so pissed at him just few days ago. He had been watching her and now he felt like he needed to begin with the introduction.

"Actually, I have a surprise for you." he said grinning.

"Surprise? For me?" she asked and pointed on the dried flower "I thought this was a surprise."

"You'll love it. Trust me." he said and clicked his radio as a sign. She looked at him, thinking, Trust him? Based on everything Zane let me feel and remember, I should hate him. He should be dead if he would have succeeded, she sighed, But based on what he has done for me in the last few days, based on the things I see and hear people talk about him, people that seem to care about me...I feel like I should. Her thoughts were interrupted by Eric "Any minute now." he winked his eye to her, reminding her all the fragments of those times he had done it. She felt overwhelmed, making her ventilate.

"You okay?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, um.. things, fragments of my life are coming back to me and it's a bit of.." she said confused, frowning her brows, her eyes jumping around on the bed cover.

"Overwhelming?" he asked calm, his voice so low. There was something about his voice that made her feel different. She felt secure when she heard it but when she looked at his eyes, she felt tingling in her fingertips. She looked at him, just feeling that and nodded.

"You're going through so much." he said calm. She nodded, feeling thankful for the understanding. Suddenly they heard a loud noise in the corridor, coming closer.

"Are these our kids?" she asked frowning. Eric smirked and waited for the door to open. Jamie was seemingly nervous. She tidied her hair and patted her undereye bags "I look like shit."

"Bullshit! You look beautiful." he said with such power Jamie herself started to believe it. She blushed.

The door opened and Sarah with four kids stepped in, three of them hurrying to them, Rose in Sara's arms, trying to get off so she could run to her mommy.

"Hey-hey-hey!" Eric said loud and serious "Take it easy!" he said and stepped out of the way, wide grin appearing to his face. They took few last steps more cautious and hugged their mother. Jamie looked at the heads surrounding her, trying to look at their faces. He could see she was overwhelmed, emotional, trying not to freak out. Little Rose walked to them and Eric took her in his arms. Jamie looked at them and gasped. Some moments and views had more impact on her memory and feelings than others. This was that moment. Kids murmuring and mumbling against her chest and shoulders, their scent, their soft hair. She ran her fingers through Ethan's dark curly hair then looked at Eric, remembering him sitting between her thighs, her shaving his mug with a blade, his arms around her thighs, fingertips brushing her legs, his head leaned back, his dark stare on her. She remembered every detail of that moment. His eyes, his nose and lips, the tingling feeling when he brushed her legs, the way his body scent made her feel, the way his breath smelled. The way he looked at her at that very moment, pleased smirk on his face, eyes dreamy. Rose was meant in his arms, making him absolutely adorable as a dad. She let out a breath.

The kids pulled away from the hug, looking at her. She brushed their heads and cheeks "Lily...Ivy...Ethan." trying to make an impression that she was her own self. Eric stepped closer, handing Rose to her, Roses hands reached out to her. She took her in her arms, Eric close to her making her feel weird. Even weirder when he stepped away from her, like a pulling feeling she though came from the need to hold Rose close to her. Then she realized it was him.

This all was overwhelming to her, knowing they're hers, not knowing or remembering much, trying her best to make an impression that everything was okay. But she wasn't okay. She was still messed up, confused, lost. Her eyes were pooled with tears and she seemed like losing it. Her pulse was up, making her hear her own heartbeat, she thought there wasn't enough air.

"Honey, are you okay?" Eric asked, making her snap her head towards him. She nodded nervous.

No she's not, Eric thought and said "Hey kids, that's enough for today." making them groan and protest "No..."

"Mommy needs to rest, okay." he said. Sarah had stood at the background but now she felt like saying something "Hey kids, who wants ice cream?" They cheered, Rose clapped hands, making Eric chuckle. Jamie looked at them, still finding it hard to believe that they were all hers. So beautiful and bright kids with the most blue eyes. Except Lily, but hers where beautiful too.

They hugged her, Ivy asking "Mom, when you're gonna come home?" That was a question she wasn't ready to answer. She felt physically okay and she liked them, him. But she wasn't sure about her mental condition. Would she freak out? Would she be out of place? She knew she wasn't cleared by doctor Lever. She had a fair amount of therapy left before she was cleared.

"Soon." she said, glancing at Eric. He knew what she meant by that. He nodded reassuringly.

Sarah came to take Rose from her "Take care, Jamie." Jamie smiled to her and said "Thank you... Sarah." she felt bit awkward. At least she got the name right.

When they left she sighed loud, even more confused.

"You okay?" he said sitting back to the chair.

"I don't know. I guess. Am I?" she said "Tell me the truth."

"I can see you're overwhelmed. Confused." he hit his stare on her.

"So it's noticeable!" she whined "God, if they feel that they are not loved, if they..." she covered her mouth and started crying and sobbing, ventilating into her palms.

"Hey, hey..." he stood up taking her hand in his "Listen. You've come a long way from wanting to murder me to here, where we are, in such a short time." She looked at him.

"Give yourself some credit." he said scooting closer and took a hold of her chin, eyeing her lips then her eyes "Give yourself time, love."