Cigarette Burns - Sirius Black

Ch 22: Proof Of Love Isn't Always Enough

Morrigan opened the front door to Grimmauld Place, with Remus behind her. Sirius jumped up from the couch and greeted her with a large hug, she returned it albeit tentatively. Sensing her hesitation Sirius pulled away with a confused expression. Morrigan sighed and looked up at Sirius trying her best not to let her glassy eyes give away her emotions. "Why didn't you tell me about Mary?" 

Sirius ran a hand through his hair as he fidgeted, "There's not too much to say..." 

"Really? Because both Remus and Owen would beg to differ," Morrigan said snarkily gesturing to her former professor who was doing his best to leave to the kitchen without drawing attention to himself. 

"Look I wasn't keeping anything from you-" 

"Not keeping anything from me?" Morrigan scoffed, "I don't care if you were fuck buddies, if she was your first love, or whatever she was. I care that you didn't tell me! That I had to find out from someone I barely know versus my boyfriend!" 

"I just didn't want to fight!" Sirius exclaimed loudly frustrated that his attempts to avoid this very situation didn't work as planned. 

"Not a great plan because look what we're doing now!" She countered the fire reflecting in her silver eyes.

Sirius fidgited nervously, "It wasn't anything Serious, I just didn't want to say anything... not yet at least."

She sighed her eyes unable to focus on the man in front of her, "Just tell me Sirius. What was she to you? Because the last thing I want to do is find out from my new boss." 

Hearing Morrigan's plea he caved. "We went out one or twice, I never thought too much of it. She wasn't my type but Prongs thought it would be good for me to go on an actual date, try to have an actual relationship instead of quickies in an empty classroom. So we went out. I never felt anything romantic for her though, we became friends out of it. I told her about my family, what was going on in my life. She was kind enough to listen to me." 

"So why did you feel like you couldn't tell me that?" Morrigan pressed, "That's not even a bad thing!" 

"And we may have had sex one time," Sirius said quietly. 

"So?" Morrigan queried her voice tired, "I don't care about your past Sirius, I care that you lied to me. That you kept all of this from me when I asked about her." 

"That's not fair Morrigan," Sirius countered. 

"What isn't?"

"You keep so many secrets tucked away from me. I wasn't ready to talk about Mary with you, whether it was because I was worried about how you would react, or because I didn't want to confront any of it, I don't know. However, you keep so many things from me that I can't even ask about because I don't know!" 

Morrigan huffed, "What would you like me to do? Write down a list of things you may not know about me? That's ridiculous Sirius you know this right?" 

"Ridiculous?" He snorted, "Morrigan you didn't tell me anything about your mum disappearing on you after you stabbed a guy, you haven't told me anything about your first love, you haven't said what you'd like for a career, and you refuse to talk about your dad!" Sirius paused his eyes burning into hers, "Honestly sometimes I wonder if you've told Remus more than you've told me." 

Remus shook his head interrupting Sirius's train of thought, "No, not again. I am not being dragged into whatever this is. Whenever you two are done fighting I'll be in the kitchen prepping for your lessons Morrigan, which we are already three hours late on starting." With that statement he fled the room. 

"Sirius, we don't talk about those things because you don't want to know, we always change the subject when it gets emotional, so don't push the blame onto me," Morrigan stated. "I don't know what is going on with you, everything was fine until my mum arrived and then it's like all hell has broken loose."