Voodoo doll

Chapter 36

(Janie's pov)

"Janie wake up" the voice echoed in my head. Unsure of who's voice it was, it was extremely familiar. "Janie?" The voice didn't sound too confident about me actually getting up. "Wake up!" It was definitely Ashton's voice.

I didn't want to wake up. Cause waking up means facing reality. Waking up means your dreams fade and become forgotten. Waking up means I'm alone. Waking up is probably the worst thing, because you have to one: face another day, and two: can't change everything by blinking. Reason ten thousand why I love sleeping.

"Janie... Uhm... Get up? Ashton left, said for me to uhm... Wake you up, watch you, make sure your fainting is minimal. So wake up..? Please??" I knew right off the bat it was Luke. No one else would get this awkward talking to me.

That made me really not want to open my eyes, more than I did before. But for some reason, something made me, and my eyes opened instantly after his voice stopped.

"What happened?" I sat up. My head immediately hit the top of the bunk as I went to stand so I laid back down.

"You fainted..." Luke bit his lip and looked at his shoes. Oh yeah, Ashton's proposing, wow. Wish I woke up with amnesia there.

"Do you know why?" I asked dumbly seeing if Luke knew, even though I was perfectly aware why I went unconscious.

"I don't know Ashton said you two were talking and you just... Passed out," Luke shrugged, sitting on the edge of the bunk I was in, still not making eye contact with me.

"Oh," was all I said I was glad Ashton didn't tell the world I was stunned by him wanting to propose, but something was bothering me at this moment. So I didn't care about Ashton currently. Well bad wording, I always care, he's just not my main thought at this moment.

Luke lack of being able to look at me hurt. A lot. Although I was working on moving on, I still want Luke in my life. Even if I am leaving next week and Calum's the only one who knows. I wanna look back and remember the greatest guy I've ever dated thinking positive thoughts of me, not sad ones.

"Luke," I sighed.

"Mhmm..." He bit his lip still staring at the floor.

"Can you look at me?"

"No," Luke said sternly. I was pretty taken back, Luke usually don't talk sternly or angrily. When he's mad, he doesn't say much. When he's sad, he doesn't say much. So I've never heard him straight up argue a simple request.

"Luke-"

"Yeah?" He played with his lip ring, staring at his black vans.

"Are you mad at me?" I questioned.

"Never," he responded like it's the most obvious thing ever, "I could never be or at least stay mad at you."

"Then why won't you look me in the eyes and talk to me like a normal person would ?" I didn't notice how harsh and annoyed this sounded until it escaped my mouth.

Luke was silent. He took a deep breath turned in my direction. His eyes were puffy and watery, his face was pale but also red as well. Did I do this to him??? "Because it hurts," He stared me straight in the eyes for a minute, then got up and walked away.

"Luke wait!" I stood up and bumped my head on the top of the bunk, causing me to fall back into the bunk. Luke kept walking and went to the video game room.

I sat in whoever's bunk this was, and just blinked, multiple times. I wasn't gonna cry, because I can't make Luke rule my life anymore. I wasn't going to scream, cause my life is frustrating. I was going to do what I needed, close my eyes and dream again.

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(Luke's pov)

I've been a wreck since the break up. Not completely, but mostly. I've had happy moments with the band. I've laughed. I've enjoyed meeting fans. My whole life didn't revolve around her, just my whole world was her.

I grabbed a piece of Nutella toast. Nutella tended to make me feel better. Same with my stuffed penguin collection. So I cuddled with the penguins for a little, then decided to go talk to Janie again. I was told to babysit her anyway.

When I got back to the bunk she was in, she was asleep. I smiled slightly and put my one penguin next to her and let her sleep. Within minutes she grabbed the stuffed animal and hugged it tightly, making me smile bigger.

I missed her a great deal. I live for moments when I can watch her sleep, non-creepily, and realize that out of the whole world she's mine. But she's not, anymore, or yet again. Because she will be, one day. I just have to let her be until we're ready to start over.

"Sweet dreams beautiful," I whispered before I pressed my lips against her cheek, but only briefly, before I walked away.

Moments like these, are when I know in my heart, that I need to get her back.

One day.

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(A/n)

It's short, but I think the message of this chapter is there.

If not good.

If you're confused, honestly you're meant to be confused, it's a confusing concept. But if there's any extreme confusion, I'll be glad to explain.

Spelling errors, I'm sorry. I type fast.

QOTD:
Luke and Janie, Calum and Janie or Ashton and Janie? Or even Michael and Janie!? Or no one?
Your pick! Who do you think Janie is meant for?

Xoxo!

Love you!

No need to fear an update is near!