Adam: Why would you do such a stupid thing?!
Jack: For two reasons only.
Jack: One - the aesthetic.
Jack: Two - spite.
Jack: That's it.
Adam:
Jack: Okay, fine I lied.
Jack: Three - attention.
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Jack: I got a pet snake, what should I name him?
Adam and Ryan, in unison: William Snakespeare
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(In the future)
Adam: The cake will arrive at one tomorrow.
Jack: Great! While you do that, I'll check up on the ring bear.
Adam: You meant to say ring bearer, right?
Jack:
Adam: Jack, look me in the eyes and tell me you aren't bringing a dangerous wild animal to Ryan's wedding tomorrow.
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Adam: I want to be a father someday.
Ryan: But you already are???
Adam: Our fans are not my children.
AJR Stans, writing in their diaries: Dear Diary, today I was disowned by my own father.
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Jack and Ryan: Trust fall!
Adam, from across the room: Absolutely not. I'm not gonna catch you two.
Jack and Ryan, forcefully: T r u s t! Fall!
Adam: I said no-
Jack and Ryan: We're falling!!
Adam: *Jumps over couch, flips over the table and dives to catch them*
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Ryan: If you could choose, how would you die?
Jack: Dramatically.
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Adam: I can't find it!
Ryan: Find what?
Adam: My happiness- oh wait, there you are.
Ryan:
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Jack: Ryan, your piano solo was so good!
Ryan: Oh my God, I didn't even try, it was like improv-
Jack, screeching: oh my gOD, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TAKE THE FREAKING COMPLIMENT?!?!
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Ryan: Bring the beat in.
Jack, running in with a beet on a plate: Anything for you, Ry!
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Jack: Yo, this is a message to all my b*tch *ss haters-
Jack, starting to cry: I-I'm really sensitive so please stop.
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Adam, wearing something fancy at a formal event: Believe me, I'd rather slip into something a bit more comfortable.
Adam: Like a f*cking coma or something.
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Adam and Jack: *working together to do a crossword puzzle*
Adam: What's a four letter word for something weird, but somehow manages to be adorable and is always incredibly beautiful?
Jack: Ryan.
Adam, writing "Ryan" down on the crossword: It fits.
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Death: Your time has come.
Jack: Hold on, let me ask my brothers.
Death: That's not how this works-
Jack: They said "no". Sorry, but maybe next time.
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AJR Incorrect Quotes
HumorY'all probably already know what Incorrect Quotes are, so just read the book. This is completely random, but idrc.