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FEARLESS | vi.
"Why am I alone?"

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Reyna didn't how much time had passed. How much time had passed since she closed herself in one of the remaining bathrooms of the ship.

It felt like she had been laying for hours and hours on the cold tiles of the floor. Everyone assumed that she was staring into nothing because they didn't understand. To concentrate on the color, the shape of each tile until she could analyze the grout's texture was the only way to feel alive. One piece at a time. Her mind's eye needed to stroke the sandy miles she prepared for the mental Babylon when it would hit.

Lexa.

Those cut up scenes amounted to the fate of her. She would never be real again. Reyna could scream and fight and makes scenes, but it wouldn't change anything.

She once again traced her mental pattern.

Color to pigments.

Grid to square.

White rivers that became sandy shores that were rough to touch.

Crystallized to infinite.

A trembling finger reached out to grate against them.

A feeling that never registered was now her outlet to life.

Every day from now on would be the same, until the end came. Every day she would be in a medical room, with people trying to take care of her, everyone else other than the one she needed, the only one who could make her pain go away; Lexa.

At the thought her breathing became a battle. She let out gasps into nothing. An ache rang through her like a million bells clanging at the final hour. Her nails dug into the soft flesh of her palms. Droplets of blood fell to the floor.

She couldn't do this. Her body begged to breathe despite her protests and panic.

She drew in deep and returned to her start.

Color to pigments.

Grid to square.

She could hear the sound of the door slowly sliding open, but she didn't let it distract her. She could hear gentle footsteps against the floor, but her eyes never left the tiles.

She was so focused on it, until Octavia came into her view, laying down right beside her, blocking the tiles. Both of them stayed silent, neither knowing what to say, so they just didn't speak.

Octavia let out a small sigh, debating if she should say something. She stared at Reyna who was just staring past her into nothing, as if she wasn't even there, "I don't know what to say to you."

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