Falling Too Far

Chapter 5- The bakery just exploded.

I could hear my footsteps slap against the pavement as I trekked home, shuddering and tugging at my sweater as a cool gust of wind nipped at me, representing how I felt.

Cold inside.

After my little 'talk' with Harper I had left school. I had ditched. This was completely unusual of me, I have never done anything so bad before, I was known as the 'teacher's pet' or the 'nerd'. The worst thing I had ever done was not do my homework. On purpose.

So this ditching thing was a whole new level for me.

The rage inside me had soothed, soothed to a frozen heart. Every breath I took felt cold, immobilising my insides. I was relatively calmer now, the whole incident with Harper had left me in shock. 

What is happening to me? I would never speak like that to someone! 

I was normally terrified of speaking to new people, but Harper, he had sparked something inside of me, made my fury transform for small sparks that flew around inside me, to raging infernos that burned through my mouth, coming out through my voice. A voice I wouldn't have had without him.

No, shut up. He didn't do anything good for you. He publicly humiliated you and plays other girls. He is no good at all.

But he didn't know you would break down like that! He took you away, out of class, comforted you and apologised. And what did you do? Lecture him and tell him that you hate him.

Wonderful, Noelle. Just wonderful.

I felt a building feeling of regret rise in me, but immediately pushed it down. Why should I regret it? He deserves it. I inwardly groaned and put my head in my hands, grabbing fistfuls of my hair. Why couldn't I get Harper out of my mind? I tried desperately, visualising a hand grabbing the thoughts and throwing them out of my head.

"Forget about him," I whispered to myself. It just didn't feel right. I sighed, pulling my hands out of my tendrils of long, red hair and continued walking, careful to avoid the fine cracks that lined the slabs of stones on the pavement, a startling black against the light grey. Step on a crack, break your mother's back, I thought of the old rhyme, hopping over an especially large one. I stopped suddenly.

My Mom.

She would be confused at why I was returning from school so early, four hours before the actual end. I couldn't go home now. I sighed deeply, turning away from the direction of my house and heading for the park.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know why I wanted to go to the park. It had been a year since I last visited, when Florence, my sister at university, had dragged me here to take for her art project. I missed Florence, she had just started her first year at university a few days ago, to study politics. I wanted to write, write my feelings out on a page, to just release, release everything. I wanted other people reading my work and find it as a salvation from the real world, a place to escape, like how I felt with books. An escape.

Upon arriving at the park, I sat at the foot of a tree, feeling at peace. There was no one at the park but mother's and their toddlers who were laughing at the nearby play area, as everybody was occupied at work or school. I closed by eyes and leaned against the tree, savouring the peace.

What would I do about Harper Andrews?

I will certainly ignore him, I began. Will I forgive him? I was astonished at my own thought. Of course I wouldn't! He can't make up for verbally abusing me and causing me a panic attack just by being super cute and adorable and sweet and taking me away from everyone else.

Oh.

The sudden image of him looking at me, pained and hurt at my words, flashed through my mind, stabbing my heart. No. He has done the same thing I did to so many people, remember?

Yes.

But somewhere, in the back of my mind, there was a nagging feeling of regret.

"Woah, what happened to your face?" I opened my eyes at the words. Standing in front of me was a boy my age, his blonde hair closely cropped and grey eyes shining. "Because they're all puffy and red," he added, scanning my face. I glared at him. I expected no one to be here to notice me.

"I know." I retorted, firmly. 

"But other than that, you're kind of hot," He answered, still scanning my face. I sighed and looked away, trying to hint that I was not in the mood. A few moments had passed, and at first I thought he had got it before I felt a warm presence next to me. I turned my head, seeing him sitting beside me.

"My name is Joshua," he smiled, looking at me. I inconspiciously tried to scoot away. "Uh... cool... " I answered, smiling awkwardly. After all, a stranger had just came and sat next to me. I suddenly felt bad. He was just trying to be nice.

"I'm Noelle," I said, grimacing at my weak attempt.

"You're cute," he stated bluntly, grinning. His grin was unsettling. I smiled feebly. "You with anyone?" Thoroughly uncomfortable, I stood up.

"Sorry, Joshua but I have to get home now! Nice meeting you!" I hurried, straightening up.

"Wait," he mumbled his voice low. "I'm sorry. I just... I don't know. My girlfriend broke up with me and I'm feeling lonely... I guess I'm trying too hard." I carefully nodded at his unneeded information.

"It's okay," I said, awkwardly fiddling with the pockets of my jeans. "Um, I have to go. Bye!" I shouted, speed walking away. I didn't look back, just continued on forward. Okay... desperate guy started flirting with me and failing. Add that to the list of things I want to forget about today.

I walked up my driveway a few hours later, savouring the sight of my home, the place where nothing could go wrong. I had spent the last few hours at the library, roaming the aisles, picking up random books. I pulled out my keys and opened the door, deeply inhaling the smell of wood and furniture. My stress instantly released when my dog, Misha, came bounding up to me and jumping into my arms, engulfing me in a warm embrace. I gently set her down and she raced off into the house. "Mom, I'm home!" I called out walking into the kitchen.

It looked like a bakery had exploded.

Flour was everywhere, splattered on the walls, streaks on the kitchen counter and mostly, heaps all over my mother's blue apron with Ria, her name, stitched onto the fabric, and her hair.

"Hi sweetie," she replied, dusting her hands off onto her apron, only to find more flour on it, "How was your first day of school?" I ignored the mess and gritted my teeth sharply.

"Fine. Just fine." I replied. She nodded and smiled in approval, looking past my lie, and turned back to her cookbook. I trudged up the stairs to my room, peeking my head into my little sister Lana's room, her door painted an unearthly shade of pink that I pretended to love just for her sake. She was speaking to her stuffed penguins, grabbing them and making them hop around and giggle. I smiled and closed the door quietly, so not to interrupt her.

I turned and trekked to my room. Upon arriving I threw the door open and jumped to lie in my bed, looking up at my ceiling that was plastered with Walmart glow-in-the-dark stars. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts wash over me like a wave, branching off into their own streams.

But in the end, they all lead to one place. Or person.

I am so sorry for this terrible chapter... it's just a filler, however Joshua will become VERY important later...

Uggggh this is a terrible update, I wrote this terribly as well... I am so sorry but please keep reading, and comment, and maybe even vote? In the next chapter I will get back to normal and it will be more interesting... I promise.

So sorry again for this terrible update... comment what you think of the chapter, the character or even the story line!

-A :)