Falling Too Far

Chapter 40- "I wish you were, Andrews. I really do."

Dedicated to: SprinkleJellyDonuts (isn't the cover the most gorgeous thing ever?!?!?)

TRIGGER WARNING: self harm

The floor was cold against my knees and palms, digging in through my clothing. I couldn't breathe, the little breath that I was exerting was heaving out in short, raspy spasms. The ringing in my ears was louder now, and the world was still blurry, but I could make out a shape quickly moving to kneel beside me.

I felt arms wrap around my quaking body, picking me up, a hand beneath my knees and the other behind my back. There was a certain desperation in the touch of the hands that clung onto me. There was shouting- loud and violent and angry, and finally the person set off running, racing out of the cafeteria. I pressed myself to the person's chest, my body still shaking, the ringing clear in my ears.

Lemongrass.

I could smell lemongrass.

From his smell, from the way I felt my skin heat up and ignite under his touch, I knew it was Harper.

I wanted to fall into his touch, to stay in his arms forever- but at the same time I wanted to just leap out his arms and round-house kick him in his face.

I settled for staying rigid in his arms.

Finally, I felt a door being opened, and Harper set me down on the sink of the girl's bathroom so I was sitting, my legs hanging off the edge.

Wait.

The girl's bathroom?

That can't be.

I opened my eyes, the ringing fading, the shaking ceasing, the tears slowing down on my cheeks- Harper standing in front of me, a worried look on his face. His hands were on my shoulders, gently caressing them under his fingers.

"Are you okay?" He asked frantically.

I stared at him in awe, floods of emotion surging through my body.

Why is he helping me?

He shouldn't be helping me.

I don't want him to help me.

No, I do.

No, you have to stay away from him, idiot!

I didn't say anything. I held my breath as Harper edged forward, his hands electric on me, gently pressing his forehead against mine. I couldn't help but relax into his touch.

"Are you okay, Noelle?" He asked softly. I stared into his eyes- so mesmerising, so close. His gaze is tense on mine- trying to seek something from me.

I had to close my eyes, clenching my mouth shut.

I can't do this.

"Please stop, Harper." I said, quietly. "Please stay away from me. You promised to stop being in my life."

"Noelle- you knew I didn't mean that." He sighed, his voice tight and cracking slightly. "I need you."

Need me my butt.

"No- you don't." I pushed Harper away from me slightly. A hurt look filled in his eyes, but I chose to ignore it, my heart aching a little. "Stop trying to help me. I really don't need this in my life. Please get back to your- "

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING- GET THE HELL OUT!" A voice screamed.

Oh no, Harper. Have fun getting out of this one.