Elizabeth Cutter | Primeval

★ S7 E3 - Dead Girl Walking

I'm back (kinda)!
Really sorry for taking a break but I had to put myself first and focus on what I've needed this past week, which unfortunately hasn't been this, but we're gradually getting there now so I'm making a slow return :)

Also, look up! The song that inspired the title of this chapter

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Lizzie's POV

'You know they were just trying to protect you.'

I shake off his voice. They should have told me the truth. They should never have lied to me. I knew they were keeping things from me, but I never thought it would be this. I died. Like...properly died. Clinically, I'm a dead person who came back to life. In the movies they'd normally describe that as becoming a zombie...

'Please talk to me.'

"But you're not really here," I whisper, pulling my knees up to my chest and staring at the headstone in front of me.

Nick Cutter. Beloved Father and Friend. Always missed and never forgotten.

'I'll always be here.'

"But it's all in my head. You're in my head. None of this is real."

I can almost feel him sigh. 'No, Lizzie. It is. I don't know how to explain it, but it really is me.'

God, now I'm crazy and delusional. I know my head injuries were bad but...I thought his voice would go, but now he's trying to tell me it's real?

I take a deep breath. "If you're real, tell me everything."

Becker's POV

I've been trying Lizzie's phone for hours, but every time I get no answer. She ran out of the ARC quick and I didn't have a chance to catch up to her before she took off in a car.

"Lizzie, pick up your phone, please. You don't understand, and I need you to hear me out." I turn to Lester. "I need to find her."

Lester nods. "Go. Jenny and Jess can keep the place running, just keep your black box and coms on."

"Thank you." With that, I run.

There are only a select few places Lizzie would ever go, and considering all that's happening, I know where to look first.

I pull up at the cemetery and practically sprint from the car until I reach the area of Nick's grave. I see a small body and sigh in relief. Lizzie's safe. She's leant against a tree opposite his headstone, her knees curled up tightly to her chest. Her head is down but I can tell she's crying by the shuddering of her shoulders.

"Lizzie?" My voice is quiet, my movements slowed down. I don't want to scare her. She doesn't say anything, she doesn't seem to acknowledge me. I kneel down, my hand resting gently on her knee but she pulls away, her body curling tighter into itself. I decide to back off and simply sit across from her so she knows that I'm still there.

"You lied..." she whispers before grabbing her ears and yelling "SHUT UP!"

I'm taken aback but I know what this is about. I know why she's being so cold and she has a right to be.

"How could you?" Her voice cracks as she finally looks up to meet my gaze. She looks...broken. "I died. I died and all of you lied to me." Her voice is quiet but then something inside of her must change as all of a sudden her face changes and she's taken over with a wave of anger. "I thought it was just for a moment each time but you all failed to tell me that I was clinically pronounced dead!?" I frown. How does she know this? We never discussed this in case she ever heard us? We did it to protect her. "That when I woke up, the only reason I was still in that room with you by my side was because you didn't want to leave me!? And then all of you allow me to think I'm going crazy by getting Matt to use some weird ass future technology that means Dad can talk to me! Do you know how messed up that is!?"

She knows everything. All questions on how leave my mind. "I do..."

"Then why? Why put me through that?"

"Because we knew you'd listen to him."

"No." She stands up, stepping away from me. Her mouth is slightly open in shock, and her eyes are darting back and forth, unable to focus. "You're wrong. I thought I was listening to myself...that I was becoming delusional. You know, there was a part of me that wanted all of it to end, I'm practically a dead girl walking anyway. What would it matter?"

I can see the fear in her eyes; sense that her mind is going into overdrive. "You need to calm down."

"Calm down!? Are you actually being serious right now Becker?"

"Yes! You're still weak Lizzie, this isn't good for you."

"No, I'll tell you what's not good for me. This. All of this. The ARC. I can't do it anymore Becker. I can't pretend I'm okay when I'm not."

"And you've never had to."

"But I have, because every time I let my walls down, this happens! Every time I try to convince myself I'm okay, another little part of me breaks. I'm done fighting Becker! I'm sick of it!"

"What are you trying to say?"

Her face suddenly changes. She's in pain. I try to step forward, to help her, but she pushes me back.

"Lizzie, remember our conversation? We weren't going to shut each other out anymore. We were going to be there for each other; help each other."

"But you can't help me with this..."

"You have to let me try."

She shakes her head, taking a few more steps back. "No. You can't."

My face drops in sadness. "I can make it better. We can take him away if that's what you want."

She rubs her hands over her face. "I don't know what I want anymore..."

Sorry it's really short but I felt bad for a week with no updates.