Elizabeth Cutter | Primeval

★ S7 E2 - Stuck In Your Head

This will be the last update until next week and I'm only updating now because it was nearly done and I've been given the night off. Sorry it's short.
I just want to say a massive thank you to Randomone524 for the help with this chapter as well as the endless support! If you haven't already, go and read her stories ALEXANDRA'S PRIMEVAL and its sequel UNTIL THE END OF TIME! They're absolutely amazing!

Lizzie's POV

So Jenny's back. That's good. With Matt gone she's helping bring all of us together again...well, almost. 
I don't know where her husband is or if he knows she's here, but I can't complain. It's nice to have a friendly face around. It's weird though. She's kept her distance which isn't like Jenny. I don't know if she's scared that I'm going to break or what. I'm already broken, what more does she think is going to happen? I nearly died. I did die...I'm, I'm dead. No, I'm not dead, I'm...I don't know what I am. What am I?

'Broken, but that doesn't mean anything.' I turn around to the source of the voice, but no one's there. I know that voice. It's him. Dad.

He's still around. I can't see him, but I hear him from time to time. I don't know why, or how, but it happens.

'I'm here because I care. Because I want you to get better.'

"But you're making it worse," I whisper.

No response. I thought as much. It's all in my head. I'm trying to convince myself I'm okay with the memory of my dead dad...

I want to get better. I want to be my normal sarcastic self, but I can't. I don't feel like me. I feel like I've lost something. I feel like I've lost a lot of things...because I have. 

'You haven't lost me. Not yet.'

I shrug off the voice and the feeling of being watched, putting my notebook away just as the anomaly alarm goes off. For a moment I remain still, knowing they won't send me out, but I want to help. I need to help in some way. I can't sit here going mad in my own mind. 

"No!" Lester yells from above as I walk in. "You're not going."

I look up to him and nod. "I know I can't." He probably can't hear me, but he'll get the idea. I want to go...but even I have to admit I'm not ready by any means. 

I take a seat next to Jess, not wanting to be alone with my thoughts, and pluck my Rubik's Cube from my pocket. I see Jenny glance over as I spin it, a confused look on her face. I know Lester told Jenny about it, but clearly not in detail.

A little while later, my eyes are focused on each blinking dot on the screen, telling me exactly where they are. I focus on Becker's. He moves with ease, a singular motion, moving swiftly. I want to talk to him.

'But you can't.'

He'd listen. 

'You can't distract him.'

I take a deep breath, ridding his voice from my mind. He's been dead nearly three years. I never heard him before, but since I died, he's all I can hear. It's like I'm stuck between life and death. Like I'm a ghost. My hand moves to grab the mug sat in front of me. It only has water in, but Jess said she couldn't find a glass. As I pull it towards me, my hand seems to go through the handle and it crashes to the floor, smashing into pieces.