Elizabeth Cutter | Primeval

S3 EX - I Just Need You To Understand

I tap my fingers against the table as Becker comes over with our drinks.

"Thanks," I say as he hands me my cocktail.

I take a few sips as he sits down and begin playing with a few strands of loose hair to pass the time. It's a habit I've had since I was young that I do when a situation gets uncomfortable. Not that being with Becker is uncomfortable, but I'm not sure where this is going to go.

"So...one hell of a day," he comments. I nod, unsure of what to say. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It's fine. We had it covered."

"Yeah, looks that way." He points to my head and my finger brushes over where the steristrips are holding my cut together.

"Oh, It's nothing."

"When are you going to be honest with me?"

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask.

"I can tell you're not over what happened with Helen and your-"

"-Stop." I swallow down a few tears and find the courage to look Becker in the eyes. "Please."

He leans across the table and takes my hands in his. "I'm always here for you Lizzie. You shouldn't bottle up your emotions like this. It's not healthy."

I stare at him for a few moments before pulling myself away from his grip. "And what you guys are doing is?" I ask in disbelief.

Becker looks at me in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You and everyone else at the ARC. Every time I walk down those corridors it feels like my Dad isn't even there anymore; it's like you're all painting him out of the picture and moving on."

"Lizzie, that's not what we're tryi-"

"-yes, it is. You may not see it, but I do, and I can't take it anymore. My only reason for being at the ARC was my Dad, and now that he's gone and you don't need his expertise anymore, all of you can move forward...but I can't. I'm just a shadow in the corner of an organisation where the only thing that's keeping me there is the echo of my fathers memory."

Becker's eyes drop. "The only thing?"

I sigh. "You know what I mean."

His face hardens and I'm not sure whether to be angry or scared right now. "Do I Lizzie? Because for these last few months, it feels like I don't even know you anymore. We barely talk...hell, we barely even make eye contact. I know that you're still grieving Cutters loss but you can't keep shutting us out like this; you can't keep shutting me out."

"This isn't about you!" I yell but quickly try to compose myself when nearly everyone in the pub turns to look at us. I rub a tired hand over my face. "I'm sorry, I just..."

He takes my hands once again. "Talk to me Lizzie."

And just like that, I crack. No wonder my Dad secretly liked him...Becker's good, too good.

"Helen's still out there somewhere and I can't rest until I know why. Why she did the things she did; why she hates me so much that she had destroy everything I had only to leave again once she was done...I want to know why she murdered her husband, my father in cold blood. He was a good man and didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve any of it, and I can't live with that. I feel like I have to make it right...like I have to do something about it."

"Is this why you're so withdrawn? Because you've been trying to work all of this out on your own?"

A few tears leak from my eyes and I feel a lump catch in my throat. "I just-" My voice cracks. "I just didn't want him to die in vain."

Becker stands up and heads to my side of the table, kneeling down in front of me. "Come here."

He pulls me into a hug and for the first time since Dad's death, I'm crying to release my emotions rather than allowing the odd spills while I try to bottle everything up.

"I'm here and everything's going to be okay now."

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Okay, so that was a short filler chapter to separate the episodes as I'll be skipping Season 3 Episode 7 because I'm not gonna lie, it wasn't the best episode - at least to me (please don't shoot me) - and I figured you all needed a little trip inside Lizzie's head. The story will continue from Season 3 Episode 8 :)